Best friend just replaced me and barely talk

Hm... Have you tried talking to him about this personally? Like say "hey buddy, what's going on? We used to talk all the time, etc", it might make you sound abit needy but if it is on your mind it might be worth bringing it to their attention. They will most likely respond with "naa, everything is fine" but atleast you asked. It's really frustrating when stuff like this happens especially when you haven't had an argument or anything...

 

One thing I'm not clear on, is this friend straight or gay? does he know that you're gay? does he know that you have a crush on him?
these could all be factors in why he moved on, and why he did it so abruptly without telling you. If he knows and is gay, maybe he is attracted to the other friend. If he is straight and either knows or suspects, maybe he is uncomfortable having a close relationship with a gay man (not secure in his own sexuality yet)

 

if he's not secure with his sexuality, and he knows yours, that might be the very reason that he's avoiding you. that could be very toxic for you, and you may be better off with some distance. I know that's not what you want, but give it some thought. Also, since this is a friendship and not a romantic relationship, it might be worth developing more friendships, especially in the LGBT community, and not get too dependent on any one friendship. yeah, it's great to have a really close BFF, but this is what happens. I'm really sorry that you're going through this now. It sounds like a very difficult situation. (*hug*)

 

if it's not yet too late and asking him if "everything was right?" wasn't enough, then you should tell him directly how you feel exactly, tell him "i miss you" and tell him what you want to happen (*hug*) always works for me and my friends at times when we find ourselves having little time for each other maybe a little hugging will help too

your situation right now is really hard.. you might feel like a third wheel or you feel very confused at the very least with how sudden these things happen.. what's worse is, it might be hard for you to shake off these feelings too, because for some people, the more a person reject him, the more they long for the person's acceptance and affection..

the good thing is, he's still you're friend all these things doesn't necessarily mean that he replaced you nor he rejected or pushed you away.. i know it's hard but you can take these things positively.. just think of it like there's just another person added to the friendship and you're not really replaced (&&&) maybe it's just a feeling that you got, but if you think you're not his "best" friend anymore, maybe you can bring it back be the one to initiate actions - ask him out more, invite him over, eat together, maybe travel together, and most of all, communicate more.. and i mean communicate personally as much as possible.. do all these every chance you get.. and hey, it doesn't really have to be only the two of you as long as you have enough time together, whether it's just the two of you or with other friends, i believe it will turn out great remind him how you will just be there for him and don't give up on him the others are right, there are a lot of possibilities why this is happening, and like wildside said, it might even be his sexuality.. so give it some time.. but just keep your hopes up you've been friends for a long time after all, right? (*hug*)

i wish the best for the two of you i'm glad you opened up here.. and please, don't fee like it would always be bad luck for you.. please remember that you are always good things in life so always be positive, there would always be people to support and appreciate you like us here, and you're still young, there are still a lot of friends to come your way, so cheer up

:thewave:

 

I have been in a sort of similar situation to you..right down to the detail about him initially not liking the other person (Or in my case not feeling 100% safe with teh other person)... In the end I told him how I had been feeling and he realised that he needed to spend a bit of extra time with me, so he came to visit me and we talked it through and everything haas been back to how it used to be with us and has been now for the past 9 months or so. I know how incredibly much this sort of thing can hurt x

 

good to hear the three of you hang out together but please don't think he's spending more time with the other friend just because you're a "gay man".. please, it's a common thing, it can happen to anyone.. i know straight male and female bestfriends who had the same situation.. we're no different (*hug*) besides, he already knew about you for almost a year.. and sexuality wouldn't matter as long as you have common interest right?

this happens to me too.. when my free time doesn't match with my friends' free time, and there's just no time for us to hang out together sometimes even for weeks.. we hang out with other people, but we make sure that each of us feel secured with our friendship and, you see, it's not really how many times you hang out with him, but the quality of the time when you're with him, right? so make the best of those times, make him feel secured of your friendship, and make your self feel secured too (*hug*)

 

we human beings do tend to be self conscious, and it's definitely not just a gay thing. It's like when you walk into a room and people are laughing, or they stop talking, and right away we think it is about us. Generally, we're not the center of everyone's attention. But, we do tend to worry about it. Being gay just gives us one more reason to be that way. It can be easier to say than do, but don't take his relationship with someone else as being about the gay thing. Of course, if it is then maybe you would rather not know, or rather not know him. All those possiblities! So just enjoy his friendship and don't think so much!