There's a tl;dr below & I've underlined key details My best guy friend has been confusing me for the past 5 years or so now. Since we were 12/13 he's been ambiguous about his sexuality but since I came out to him last year things have become even more confusing (we're now 19). He always acted gay back when we were 12/13 - he used to get his dick out a show me and a friend when he peed and was a bit touchy-feely, but I just put it down to the usual 'laddish' straight guy behavior. We didn't talk much for the next few years but he had several girlfriends and lost his virginity etc - at this point I developed a crush on him but it never went anywhere and it died long ago. Whenever anyone asked he'd always say he was 100% straight. At about 16 he had pretty much guessed I was gay but still occasionally got his dick out and peed in full view (in my garden, it was hardly necessary to get it out). Again, I put this down to just straight guys being weird. We then drifted apart for a while but started talking online several times a week. He continued to have girlfriends on and off at this point. It was about 2 years ago that I started to question him again after some of the things he said. He told me that his girlfriend was convinced he was bi but still denied it when I asked if he actually was. He then questioned me about being gay and we both admitted that we're both a tiny bit bi (I lied). He said that he just found some guys attractive very occasionally. When I came out to him last year it got even more confusing - he said he wasn't 'directly attracted' to guys but could tell when a guy was hot, describing himself as 'partially bi' when I asked him if he was. He then said he thought of himself as pansexual. It also turned out that he knew about terms like twinks, bears etc. which is more than a little odd for a supposedly straight guy. I also told him that I had a crush on him a few years back. He also started talking to me much more online. A few months later he told me about a girl he met for a hookup and sent me a pic of her giving him a bj, which seemed an odd thing to send to an openly gay friend (his dick was clearly visible). When I told him how much I wanted sex too he said 'before you ask, no you can't suck my dick :L' A few weeks later something came up in conversation and he said he was completely straight and didn't find guys sexually attractive. :eusa_liar Then later in the summer when he was desperate for money and didn't have a gf I was a bit flirty over FB saying things along the line of 'I don't give money away for nothing in return :icon_wink' and he said 'If you give me £15 I'll let you blow me' with no emoticon whatsoever, so it didn't come across as a joke. When I asked if he was serious he said no and the emoticons came back and we changed subject. He then got a new gf. Then a couple of months ago we were discussing tumblr and he told me he posts dick pics on there and then gave me the link to his blog (meaning I could see them). We also started talking online on pretty much a daily basis; he almost always initiates. Then last week he suggested that we both start watching Cucumber and Banana, a gay drama series, and Tofu which is this documentary about sex and features a couple of gay porn stars. Cutting to the chase, he ended up googling one of the gay porn stars and told me that he was surprised at how average he was down there, and then asked me what a 'solo' gay porn scene involved. When I told him he said that he didn't know how just watching a guy beating off was appealing - why that would even cross the mind of a straight guy I really don't know. I'm really just wondering what you guys think his deal is. I'm just genuinely curious about his sexuality given some of the things he has said. I'm also not sure whether I should perhaps try flirting with him or making the first move - he's had plenty of opportunities to try something with me but never has. I'd like to mess around with him if he's interested, but I can't decide if he's bi or just really comfortable with his sexuality. TL;DR Close guy friend that knows I'm gay has said he's bi/pansexual several times but also says he's completely straight. He's sent me pictures of a girl giving him oral & dick pics via tumblr and 'jokingly' said I could blow him for money. But still denies being bi and never makes a move on me. What do you think his deal is?
He's definitely not straight that's for sure... It is entirely possible that he's at least bi or maybe pansexual. No straight guy is going to act like he did then try to pass it off as typical 'straight laddish' behavior. From what I gather I believe that he may be questioning his sexuality as he acts like someone who isn't entirely straight then tries to cover it up. Hope this helped although I think you knew thew answer anyway
Thanks for the reply What would you suggest I do next? He has a gf right now but if things don't work out should I try and initiate something? Or do I leave that up to him? I want him to feel comfortable enough to ask me to mess around with him but I'm not sure how I can make that clear without being to upfront about it. It might scare him off if he's a bit insecure.
[/QUOTE]Should I try and initiate something? Or do I leave that up to him? [/QUOTE] Let me ask you, Do you want to initiate something? Do you have feelings or do you hope you two can have some... *ahem* 'fun' together?
Should I try and initiate something? Or do I leave that up to him? [/QUOTE] Let me ask you, Do you want to initiate something? Do you have feelings or do you hope you two can have some... *ahem* 'fun' together?[/QUOTE] I would like to initiate something but I'm only interested in having a bit of 'fun' haha :icon_wink I'm not romantically interested in him anymore
even though your friend doesn't sound like a typical str8 guy, he did say to you that you can't suck him off.. so after hearing something like that, i wouldn't try to initiate anything with him until you at least know he is willing to reciprocate. the thing is, he could be bi, or even gay, but if from what you explained -- he is still in that denial phase, ie; he says one thing and then retracts it. what could happen is he might cut you off from friendship.. or worse, reject you and the end results is you being extremely hurt.. despite how hard it is - what i would do is just continue being friends, building a deeper bond, and getting closer to each other.. trust me, if he is bi/gay he will come around and you'll probably be the first to know. if you do want to initiate things, at least start very subtle like try giving him a hug when you meet up or when saying goodnight after hanging out.. i'd totally avoid going any further ATM. if either of you drink, that might help loosen him a bit. from my experience, a few beers can bring out the true identity of a person.
He's very hard to read - its quite possible that he's straight and just very comfortable with his sexuality, but some of the things he's said have really pushed the plausibility of that. Thanks for the advice, it was really helpful I definitely won't make him feel uncomfortable by taking things too far. Really I'd rather he initiated something but I'm not sure how I can make it clear that I'm open to it without being to obvious. Starting with hugging and alcohol might be a good place to start :lol:
