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Is it me or...?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Sammy0412, Feb 3, 2015.

  1. Sammy0412

    Regular Member

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    So, I told my 'best friend' that I might be gender fluid a couple of months ago, and she seemed supportive, but since then, she's started talking to me less and less, and we don't see each other at all anymore, apart from in lessons. The only time we talk is when she wants to know answers to things or when there's no one else to talk to. I often see her talking to a girl that used to bully me, and they keep turning to look at me, and then laughing. She knows I have a very low amount of self confidence as it is, and this is just making it worse. :icon_sad: I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, but, I don't think she's being very supportive. Is it just me over-reacting, or am I right to think this?
     
  2. Spartan 117

    Admin Team Full Member

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    This is a tricky one to answer, because obviously we don't really know what she's like!

    I'm sorry you feel like she hasn't been much of a friend recently. It's not nice when you feel like a friend isn't putting much effort into your friendship as you are. Unfortunately some people, especially when they're young, can be a bit insensitive. This might not be anything to do with you coming out as gender fluid to her. I think if you're feeling a little bit insecure and low on self confidence, these things can feel like an extra betrayal. :frowning2: Of course, there's a possibility your friend is just unaware of how much the things she's doing are hurting your feelings.

    So I guess my answer is: it sounds like you have a right to be a bit upset if you feel that your friendship is one-sided, and she's being insensitive when she talks to your former bully. However, at the same time, these things aren't necessarily evidence that she's doing things to deliberately hurt you. If that makes sense?
     
  3. Sammy0412

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    That makes sense. Thank you. I did talk to her about how it makes me feel, and she just didn't care, so I hang around with my other friends now. They don't know about my gender (I came out to one of my friends yesterday, but he doesn't hang around with us), but I'm planning on coming out to them (with my friend's help) on Friday, at lunch while we're at school. Do you think it's a good idea to come out while at school, or should I try to meet up with them out of school and tell them (although we all live quite far away from each other, so it might be ages before we're able to)?