So I have been seeing this guy for a couple months now. When we first met we both had a conversation and both vaguely confirmed that we "are looking for more" as in we both didn't want a casual relationship. Now I have never dated anyone, i have only had casual affairs that taught me that casual sex is not for me... anyway he told me that he can't have casual sex either. I eventually felt safe enough with him to have sex with him and I kinda regret it now. I have been played before and am afraid it might happen again (I'm working in those issues myself). So here's my problem I'm confused because I have only been on one date with him and it was to the movies (red flag in my head). Yet at the same time he always talks about me in the future, it's weird he will say "oh when you meet my friends..." or "Someday we are gonna do this together". when i brought up traveling after i finish school he said "I would love to come with you and we could live together". I have met his mom and his bother, and all his friends know my name and all about me... but i still haven't met them. we had a small fight (mainly my fault) and a big misunderstanding. after we both apologized he invited me over. as soon as we got there he made it clear he wanted to know what i was thinking and feeling. So i opened up (probably told him too much info about my past) he told me his life story and about the infamous ex who hurt him. So that has me wondering if he is afraid to have a girlfriend now because he doesn't want to get hurt again... but its been like five years since he's dated. Anyway I told him I didn't want to see him anymore because i can't keep having casual sex and its bad for my mental health and he said "the only reason things are still casual between us is because you kept calling it that" So I'm confused on what he wants He did say he felt like i was one of his best friends and like he's known me longer than he has, said we could move forward now. but this week he is being distant. he suddenly is asking like he doesn't care about anything...but at the same time asks me over to stay the night but wasn't horny he just wanted to cuddle.:eusa_doh:
this kinda sounds like how things started with my gf (minus sex). if you're insecure, and pushing him away then it's going to seem like things are casual. what's stopping you from taking the next step and having a relationship? it sounds like it's what the both of you want, and i feel like you could do with the closure. why is he being distant? what happened before he became distant, and have you tried talking to him about it? it might be completely unrelated to you. it may be that he's distancing himself because you're coming off as "casual" to him?
