Anyone else find themselves being attracted to people significantly older or younger than themselves? Does anyone here have any experience in dating or being in a relationship with someone 5, 10, or 20+ years their junior or senior? I'm not dating anyone for this entire year (a resolution I made to myself), but there is a guy, whom I have known for a while, who has expressed interest in wanting to date once the year is over. The thing is, he's 45. I'm turning 24 tomorrow. Personally, I have no problem with the age difference, but there are more than quite a few who think May-December relationships are "gross", "creepy", or "an excuse for older guys to prey on younger ones".
Yeah, I'm always attracted to women older than me. I'm 51, so soon I'll be hitting up nursing homes for dates. My first girlfriend was 17 years older than me, the second 10 years older. My last crush is 13 years older. None as big a difference as yours, but I don't see it as a big deal. I know it is cliche, but age is only a number. some people mature faster than others, and some age more quickly. If you are compatible in energy level, interests, etc. that is more important.
Yes, I often find older guys much more attractive than ones my age. I am attracted to maturity, independence, confidence, etc - characteristics that are most commonly (but not exclusively) found in older men. I also find more developed and built bodies more attractive. People of similar ages to me are still going through puberty and as such their bodies are developing. While I don't find this unappealing, it's not my preference. My boyfriend is 5 years older than I am. That's not a huge age gap.. Actually I rarely even think about/realise it. It works for us given our relationship dynamic and personalities because we're of similar maturities and interests. I am regularly told that I look and act older than I am so I guess he can look past my age, however at times I still have a more innocent sense of humour and playfulness. I guess he likes that. However, an age gap of 21-22 years is in another category. I personally think that may-december relationships can work, but in the long-term there are many obstacles that can cause serious problems. Their feasibility and likelihood of working is extremely low. Despite the typical idea that love can trump all, in reality love does has its limits and bounds. In the short term they can be interesting, exciting and new. However it is rare that they don't become problematic very quickly. A playful relationship based on sex and attraction is very different to a serious relationship with a long-term commitment. The latter requires something more than just love for one another to give it the best chance.
I really think this is just a personal thing. There is a general rule than anyone significantly older in a relationship has a duty to leave the younger one better off than when they started. Be careful!
I too find myself falling for older women. I'm currently head over heels for a 34 year old (I'm 23), and while my romantic, poetic and hopeful side says that age is just a number (because we do get along so well, we have such chemistry, and we enjoy spending time together), I know realistically... Would she/I feel comfortable meeting our respective families? We're in different stages of life... I'm still mobile and finding my career path, and she is moving up in her company, solidifying her role, and is in a stable place. I don't think it would hurt to go on dates, and see where it goes, but just be aware there are risks, and things you'll have to deal with. You will have to deal with comments from others, you will have to deal with your family perhaps feeling uncomfortable or that you're being taken advantage of (because your interests are their biggest concern), you will have to deal with (if the relationship continues) him turning 60 while you're still in your 30s... All these things can be dealt with though, if you find that he is your person, if you find love in him. I'm just saying you need to be ready for it all. At heart, I'm an optimist. So good luck DaftyDuff!
When a young person enters into a relationship with a much older person the odds of the relationship working out are slim. I know that sounds like a sweeping generalisation and may even come across as judgemental or offensive to some people, but there is a reality to face here. It's a reality that is borne out by lots of evidence and plenty of postings on this forum. As people age and mature and become more sorted and settled in life the issue with age difference reduces significantly, but young people - especially those in their late teens/early twenties - need to be very wary about getting involved in relationships with much older men or women. It's nothing to do with being "gross" or "creepy", but it's got everything to do with the quality of the relationship. Fundamentally, the dynamic of such a relationship is skewed in favour of the older person (who may have very different ideas and intentions) and it becomes difficult to establish any mutuality that will ensure the long term survival of the relationship. Sadly, the younger person is the one who will be most damaged by the almost inevitable break-up Does this mean all age gap relationships are wrong and doomed to fail? No, of course not and I'm not trying to infer such a thing either, but when one person is at a completely different stage in life to the other the odds are heavily stacked against success and this needs to be considered before feelings overtake reality. If you're just seeking a bit of fun, without commitment, then I'm not going to pass judgement on age, but if you are young and want something more meaningful try to focus on your own age group. It really will be better for you all round.
