So, I made the mistake of going to an expensive college and then to an expensive graduate school. Neither decision paid off, and now my debt-to-income ratio is ridiculous due to huge student loan payments. Like a lot of people in this position, I had to move back home with my parents. I moved back out at one point and moved to one of the cities I'd like to live in, a fairly expensive city, and it didn't work out for a lot of reasons--for one thing, I didn't realize just HOW expensive it was and really hadn't saved enough money to weather any potential storms before moving (but the storms came anyway). So, I'm not going to move again until I feel pretty confident that I can make it financially where I want to live. I really don't make enough to comfortably live by myself where I currently am, but the one time I did make enough if I had moved out I never would have been able to save enough to move to another city. I am in my 30s, and I really want to find someone. I just feel like a lot of women wouldn't date me because I live with my parents. I think if I were straight and wanting to date men it'd be different, but many women care about what you have, how independent you are, etc, especially in your 30s. Like, they judge you as a person before you ever have a chance to explain. Not that I am seriously looking for someone on Craigslist, but every time I glance at W4W ads there I see that attitude (i.e. "I have my own [this], [this] and [that], and you should, too!"). I did have a relationship with a woman who was very understanding, but because she was almost in exactly the same boat. And she also felt uneasy about dating partially because of it. I still have 4 more years on the biggest loan payment, but once that is done my financial situation will be dramatically different, especially if I can be where I want to in my career by then. Do I really have to wait later into my 30s before I have any sort of shot with women? It's funny, because I've seen people questioning whether or not someone will date them without a college degree, but I actually feel like I'd be way better off in many ways if I'd just gotten a high school diploma.
You could actually learn to see it as a good thing, normalwolverine. If people are rejecting you just because you live with your parents then they wouldn't love you for who you are. By living with your parents you know that anyone who does show an interest in you after finding out is either: a) able to look past things to the real person or b) aren't closed-minded and judgmental enough to mind.. Two good qualities. So this is going to potentially filter off people who aren't able to look past small things and/or closed minded, judgmental people. The important thing to remember is perseverence. Finding a stable, long-lasting relationship requires finding someone who really loves you no matter what. It takes time and you can't rush finding them. You just need to keep trying. Be available, open, interesting, and be out there meeting new people.
