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Letters to a Friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by TheArtist, Feb 5, 2015.

  1. TheArtist

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    Hello everyone!

    I'll start by saying, I just discovered this site in the middle of a depression-induced internet binge on a slow Thursday night. There's so much I want to talk about, and I would really appreciate if you could read what I'm about to share (which I know will be incredibly long).

    First, I should introduce myself. My name is Evan, my friends call me Ev, and I am a college student. I am gay. Only a few of my friends know, and I have become very at peace with this intrinsically, but none of my family members know. I am very masculine however and I have never been in a relationship (I have never been with a woman obviously and 99% of guys think I'm straight). I have never kissed anyone. But I am in love.

    To start off on the lighter side, I play tennis, I love to cook, and I am studying art. I think of myself as a major creative/sensitive/emotional type of guy, but I also have a really big goofy side. I am very shy, but I can also sometimes be outgoing. I have a group of really close friends who I love.

    My best friend. We met in summer of 2013 because we were matched as college roommates. I remember talking to him on Facebook for a few weeks before school started, and I already knew we'd be friends. When we met, we got along immediately, and I was super relieved to have a close friend already in the midst of chaotic socializing and generally feeling totally lost at school. The first night we returned from out orientation trips we hung out with friends for a few hours and returned to our room at midnight. What ensued was the best few hours of my life, and the most amazing conversation of my life.

    We stayed up until 6, well, I did, we were still talking when I heard him snore. But anyway, our first deep conversation consisted of life goals, our family members, our fears about college, our first impressions of each other, and then the wall broke down so quickly. He told me he had tourettes, I told him I had synesthesia (side note: if you don't know what synesthesia is, you should definitely find out :slight_smile: ) he told me he is extremely self conscious and shy even though he tries to come across as extremely friendly and outgoing. I told him that all of the people I loved throughout life had a way of leaving me, all of my best friends and my cousin, who is like a sister to me, moved away, and I had never really had a best friend. In that moment, he became my best friend. As he started snoring in mid-sentence, I smiled a huge smile and rolled over, passing out from exhaustion.

    When we woke up we spent the next two months inseparable, co-dependent, obsessed with each other's quirks and sense of humor, and people joked that we were an old married couple, and one guy asked us if we were dating.

    It was fall break and when we said goodbye (even though we'd only be apart for a little over a week), I started to tear up and he was obviously trying really hard not to cry. I remember driving home, I couldn't stop thinking about him, and in that moment I realized that I was in love with him. Which was such a shock to me. I have been gay my whole life, but this is current me speaking. Back when this was all going on, I thought I was straight. I had never been with anyone and even though I wasn't sexually attracted to girls, I convinced myself to form a romantic attraction towards the idea of a relationship and block out my feelings towards guys.

    The car ride was over an hour, and at the same time, my best friend was on a train home. We couldn't stop texting, and with each one my face forced a huge smile in an amazing way, as if I couldn't stop it no matter how hard I tried. Life was beautiful, I loved college, and I loved him, and in my mind, we would be best friends, inseparable, forever. And I LOVED it.

    When we returned from break he had already been to our room and left me a note on my bed, "Welcome back, Ev! I can't wait to see you, text me the second you get here!" but I found it odd that he wasn't there waiting for me. It was hours before I saw him, he kept saying he was busy and sorry he couldn't come back yet, he was doing work for a class which turned into trying to look for something down town he needed to buy, and then he asked to meet for dinner. We reunited and hugged for so long, and I felt the most incredible rush of happiness and excitement, and I smelled his cologne again, and I was so happy. We both couldn't stop smiling and had a long dinner, catching up about our breaks and seeing our friends from home. He admitted that he didn't feel as close to any of his best friends anymore because he and I shared such a special connection, and I agreed.

    Later that night we stayed up for hours again, which we usually did, I barely got any sleep that semester..He seemed really nervous at one point, and his voice started to crack, and even though the light was turned down, I could tell he was shaking. He then said he wanted to tell me something. I wanted to tell him something as well, that I had come to the realization that I was in love with him and I didn't want it to ruin our friendship because he was straight, but I would have never had the confidence to admit that.

    "Do you think people are either straight, or gay, or bi?" he asked, and my heart immediately started to pound. Could my best friend, the love of my life, who I had no hope in the world of ever being attracted to me, be in love with me too? Could this be the start of an amazing life full of love and happiness? I said "yeah, I guess, why?" and he continued.

    "I think it's like a scale, have you heard of the Kinsey scale?" I said no and my heart started pounding faster, I could barely speak. "It basically suggests that there is a spectrum. Basically on one end you are attracted to only women and the other only men. But people fall anywhere on the line, which makes sexuality kind of an unnecessary label." This made me feel so much better. He was right! I felt so weird and confused about having feelings for him, and this immediately validated that I must be bisexual and not gay.

    "I think I'm somewhere in the middle." He said, totally abruptly. I gulped and managed to let out a "really?" This led to him confessing his attraction to both men and women, and he said he was really worried I wouldn't be accepting, but his therapist said he should tell me because I'm his best friend. I panicked.

    "I am too." I said, somehow. He was really confused, he said he couldn't believe I was gay too, and a few days before break, he had told me a story about his two male friends who came out of the closet to each other and were now dating, and I immediately got chills thinking of that conversation in this new context. We both were still holding back, which I thought was for the same reason. He asked me nervously if there was anyone on campus that I was attracted to, any guys.

    "Honestly, I'm really attracted to you." I said. In my mind, I broke down the wall, he would confess the same to me, and we'd live happily ever after and my dreams were coming true. I had been torturing myself for weeks, convinced there was no way he'd ever feel the same way about me. And I was still right.

    He started to act weird. He said he was really sorry but he didn't feel the same way. He thought of me as a brother. He said I was attractive but he wasn't attracted to me. He couldn't see himself with me. Ever. And I felt like my chest was crushed by a boulder. The reason he was holding back was because he had met someone, a guy, who he really liked and wanted to tell me about. That's where he was for the hours I was waiting, and I tried to pretend like I wasn't jealous, that I never admitted my attraction to him.

    Everything was fine after that, we were still best friends, and it wasn't awkward at all. We actually felt even closer after that. The fact that I was just attracted to him didn't phase him. He is a gorgeous guy, he was used to getting compliments like that. On one hand, his being attracted to men opened up a world of hope and amazing possibilities that we could potentially end up together. On the other hand, it started a long cycle of jealousy, and false hope that one day he would be mine.

    I proceeded to fall even more in love with him. I was already IN LOVE with him, so the next step was to go so far that I fell off the tracks, I was so in love that I grew to hate him. The next few months consisted of my being a jerk, ignoring his texts, getting upset at parties when he didn't hang out with me, yelling at him when he went bowling with our friends but didn't invite me. And I decided to write him letters.

    He had told me that all he ever wanted for a present from his boyfriend was a heartfelt letter. So every week since then I've been writing him really long, honest, letters about my feelings. Some are mean, depressing, upsetting, and some are emotionally vulnerable and exploding with love and happiness.

    He said he needed to talk to me. Again.

    He asked me if I had feelings for him. Again, I felt my heart beating out of my chest, and I managed to not answer the question probably 12 times. He then said that his best friend from home who we both skyped with earlier that week had noticed the way I was looking at him, the way I was talking to him, and asked if I liked him. She now knew that he liked guys because with my support he managed to come out to all of his friends and family over winter break. I eventually said yes. He said he wasn't happy about it, that he obviously didn't feel the same way, and he said he was madly in love with his boyfriend. This hurt. Like hell.

    Second semester was horrible. I hated my classes and I had no social life besides my 3 closest friends outside of him, and we ended up having multiple fights, bad ones too, which we both thought would never be a possibility between us. I felt like everything we had was gone, and that not only was my heart broken, but I was losing my best friend as well. I became so incredibly depressed, I actually became sick, physically sick, from being mentally sick.

    The last week of school was the worst week of my life. I had become so unlike myself that I actually blacked out, this period of life is really hazy to me, and I acted extremely impulsively and stupidly. I had an incredible amount of work, so I decided to take some shortcuts on one of my final essays for film class. I don't even remember writing the paper. But my teacher pulled me into her office one day and asked me if I meant to plagiarize. I said no, and I freaked out, she told me that I could get suspended, or expelled, or fail the class, and she was obviously mad. I was always a good student so this was extremely hard for me. She asked me if I did it on purpose. She asked me if I wanted to leave school and I felt there was no other way. I said no. But I think she was right.

    I cried hysterically on the phone with my parents, and with him. He told me everything would be okay, and this potential horrific outcome forced us to grow close again. We spent the last week together every day, because we both were scared that we wouldn't be able to have each other around for a long time. He wrote a 5 page letter to administration begging them to not punish me, that I was depressed and not thinking and I was a great person and student and it was so out of character. He really still cared about me. The last day he left to go home, and I had to stay to await my punishment. We emptied our room of all of our things. That room was heaven on earth, my home, where I fell in love, where I felt safe and happiest, where I met him, where we stayed up all those nights talking, where we came out to each other, where we fought.

    I finished packing and had to leave. He walked back in our room to say goodbye, and I was overwhelmed by the blankness of the walls and the sadness in his face, and I cried harder than I've ever cried. He held me in his arms for 10 minutes without saying anything, and it was one of the hardest days of my life.

    I got suspended for one semester. He was upset, but tried to act calm, which made me think he didn't care, and I promised myself that that summer I would completely forget him. The next day I had a 5 hour long surgery on my arm from a tennis injury and I was in extreme emotional AND physical pain all summer. We didn't text more than once a week. If we did it was superficial exchanges of our lives. He was living in an apartment. With his boyfriend. He told me he could see himself marrying him.

    I gave up all hope. My amazing life was gone, no best friend, no college for the next 8 months, no working right arm, and I needed to figure out something to keep busy during the next semester. I was emotionally sick knowing that he'd be there for a half a year without me, making new friends, loving his boyfriend, forgetting about me. I contemplated dropping out of school. But my education was too important to me and my family.

    I'll take this moment to pause and thank you if you are still reading this, it is so therapeutic to write this all down and share this with others who have gone through the same thing. The next segment is going to take a very happy turn. But no, unfortunately, it doesn't involve him.

    I decided I wanted to travel. I had no passport and the world was my oyster, my therapist said "disappointment is an opportunity in disguise" and to seize the day! And I did just that. Fast forward 3 1/2 months to November 2014. I am sitting in the lobby of a hotel in Bangkok with one of my newest best friends, hysterically crying, and it had nothing to do with my best friend. We had just said goodbye to our 16 trip mates who we had traveled through Asia with. We said goodbye to rock climbing and sailing in the ocean and scuba diving and singing around campfires and exploring cities together and getting pizza after days of camping with just rice, we said goodbye to late night deep conversations and amazing bonds, we said goodbye to our family. If you had told me that in November I'd be in Bangkok I would have laughed.

    The trip changed my life, for the better. It didn't confront my issues with my best friend, but it was exposure to the beautiful truth about life- there is always some unexplored corner that will amaze you and make you love the world again. There is always hope for however low you feel. There are always new friends to make, new sights to see, and new memories to make. Depression will not triumph in a world full of love and adventure.

    I had convinced myself that I was over him, that I wasn't in love, that I was so young, and I had so much more important things to think about. After 40 hours of travel I arrived back in the US, greeted by my family, and the next day I would go visit my friends at school even though they were still at the tail end of the semester. He gave me the biggest hug, and he seemed elated to see me. And I felt like my world fit together again. We talked alone for a bit, and he asked me if I still had feelings for him. I said no, and we both breathed a sigh of relief knowing that we could be best friends again, and we couldn't wait for the next semester.

    I am now back at school, on a Thursday night, and he is at a meeting and I am writing about him. I have been back with him at school for 2 weeks, and even though we don't live together anymore, we see each other quite often.

    I am starting to fall back in love with him.

    Just remembering his smell, his smile, his voice is so amazing, and it is bringing back all of these feelings that I haven't had in so long. He has no idea.

    He also broke up with his boyfriend. Which was a HUGE shock to me. He seemed so in love, and I was at terms with the fact that they'd be together forever. And now we're both single, and this is making all of my hope come back. I am trying to be proactive about this. I know in a few days/weeks I'll be head over heels in love with him again, and I need your advice on what to do. I feel like I am at a crucial point in our relationship. Do I hold onto false hope, risk another year of depression and damaged friendship and awkward tension or do I force myself to move on and focus on rekindling our amazing friendship with the small chance that he might end up feeling the same way if I tell him how I feel?

    Thank you again so much if you read this, and I would appreciate any advice you would like to give me. I hope this also sends a positive message about depression and how you can turn disappointment into positive change.

    All the best,
    Evan
    (TheArtist)
    :thumbsup:
     
  2. banana1

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    First of all, this was amazing to read!
    my posts are usually much shorter :wink:



    I am in a similar situation... In my mind I want to move on from that but my feelings tell me not to...
    I currently use my work as an excuse, which means I work a lot and have no time for other stuff
    A friend helped me realize that a few days ago... (I don't recommend that...)

    love can be complicated ;/


    This was probably not what you have expected to read and not an advice :roflmao: :bang:

    You don't live with him right now, so see where that goes... :wink:
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    Evan (Ev), thanks for sharing all of that with us. Isn't it so therapeutic to write down everything that has been locked away inside?

    My advice would be to focus completely on your friendship, otherwise you will go through the same painful process with him and put at risk the great bond that you have established with each other. I can understand how difficult it may be to accept that, but you have to respect the comments he made to you some time ago:

    I have seen relationships come and go in my own life Ev, but one thing is for sure, friendship endures and sustains us through the ups and downs and heartaches. It is not worth putting it at risk.

    Maybe your friends feelings will change, maybe they won't... who knows? It's not something you or I or anyone else can predict or control. Do you hold on to the hope that it may happen and become really invested in that scenario, or do you accept his true friendship and look for happiness with someone who can offer you the same love and affection in return? I know what I think.

    Waiting and hoping is a kind of self denial and that's really not a good position to put yourself in, even over the short term. His friendship is a precious thing to be respected and cherished and there is nothing wrong with loving him.. as a friend. It's a special kind of love so do your best to nurture that. Get it right and it could last a lifetime.
     
  4. TheArtist

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    Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read this! :grin:

    banana1:
    Haha thank you so much. I went into it trying to make it concise but I knew it would end up being like a million pages...
    I feel the same way. It's so simple to just say "okay, I'm moving on!" but the feelings are so deep and so imbedded in me that it is definitely not that simple. I have tried to use that excuse before too, and I often ignore him or act uninterested when he texts me but it always just ends up leading to "are you okay?" and lying and saying that everything is fine. And I don't think this is a good idea for either of us because he is still my best friend and I want to actually spend time with him.

    PatrickUK: Thank you so so much for your thoughtful response! It is indeed so therapeutic to write that all down, I feel a bit better now honestly. You're right about respecting the comments he gave to me a while ago, and he has told me before too that he doesn't want me to hold onto false hope.
    I think before I was really invested in hoping it would happen, but now I'm seeing that I need to be more of a best friend to him when he is being a great best friend to me. The idea of finding someone else is difficult because in my mind he is truly extraordinary and special and there's no one else as great as him, but I need to put myself out there and look for it or else I'll be fixated on this hope forever. Who knows, the person for me could just be around the corner and I may have just not met him yet.

    My only other concern that still bothers me is sometimes I feel like he resents me for how I've treated him and how I felt about him. We have another close friend, a girl, who he is living with now and I always have to go visit both of them whenever I want to see either of them. It seems like when I was gone last semester they grew even closer and he kind of replaced me in a way. Whenever the three of us are together, he is much more talkative towards her and comfortable around her and sometimes I feel like they forget I'm even there..I don't know if this is just me being paranoid and jealous because I still have feelings for him or because we have such a deep meaningful friendship that it hurts to not feel like his best friend anymore.

    UPDATE:

    Yesterday we had a really long lunch together, and our friend asked to go with us but he said no so we could have alone time. We ended up talking about relationships and dating and I think I may be reading too much into what he said. Basically he said that all of the other guys he's met since breaking up with his boyfriend are either A. Really attractive but have horrible personalities, or B. Unattractive but good people. We both agreed that this was frustrating and he said "I feel like there's no one here that I could see myself dating. Like, I want someone who I know really well already so I don't have to like, get to know them while dating them, someone I'm really emotionally comfortable with," and I just agreed. I said that's exactly what I wanted too, and we sort of awkwardly sat in silence for a couple minutes after that.. What do you think this means? I honestly think I'm reading too much into it, I don't think it was suggesting that he is interested in me, but I could be wrong..I just wanted to scream the whole time "I'm here!!! I'm exactly what you're looking for, don't you see that???"

    Also, I talked to one of my other best friends because she saw the two of us at lunch. She asked if I still had feelings for him and I said yes, that they are coming back quickly. I told her that he doesn't know, and she thinks I shouldn't read too much into what he said. She also made a really good point that he just ended an incredibly serious relationship and he is in no way ready to commit to someone else. So my goal this week is to just not get jealous of little things and try to focus on appreciating our friendship.
     
  5. shadowraptor

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    For starters, you're a really great writer. I enjoyed reading your first post a lot!

    I'm just going to be blunt: it's unlikely anything will happen between the two of you, at least not in the way you want. Of course, love hurts, and this is an injury that will heal in time. It may seem like a big deal, but use what you have to your advantage.

    I'm only fifteen, but I know what it feels like to build yourself up on so many lies and pump yourself so full of hot air that as soon as you see something you don't like you just deflate and sink into depression. A guy that I've been amazing friends with for nearly two years, and one of the first people I came out to, was most recently the object of my affection for about two months. Of course I knew that we never had a chance, but I held on to those false hopes for so long because I interpreted every little thing as "Oh my god, he likes me back". He's so incredibly attractive and funny and smart, an amazing person who's always there for me and makes a point of sitting with me and chatting just for the sake of being my friend; I felt as if I could spend hours looking into his eyes or just talking with him. He's perfect in every way, and I felt that I needed to be with him. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had only been hurting myself by lying about him, and for a week I was depressed. That night I cried and the next day, most of which I spent with him, I was sulking and unresponsive when he asked me if I was okay. I was too bitter because that imaginary world I was living in had come tumbling down and even though it was expected, there was a piece of me that couldn't take the truth. My feelings slowly started to come back and I used them as a springboard for our friendship - I redirected every romantic thought into one of our friendship, which made our relationship even stronger than it had been.

    I realized it would have been unfair to him to push myself away from him and be nasty due to something he had no control of. Of course it hurts, but you need to use that pain and learn from it. It's the same thing with you - throwing away an amazing friendship just because you know nothing more is going to come of it would be totally unfair to both of you. I know it's hard; I'm still trying to get over him completely. But one way or another, he's someone that I am so eternally grateful to have in my life and I think it's for the better that I chose to keep him around. That's why I think you should do the same, Ev. (*hug*)
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    Honestly, I think this is the best way to go. Concentrate on being the best friend you can be and let him see how much you value and care for him as a person, without any extra hang-ups. It really will make a difference.

    What did he mean by his latest comment? Who knows? The best thing is to give him space to work it out for himself. He already knows how you feel about him, so you don't have to repeat it or point out the obvious; to do so may even seem like a return to the difficulties of the past. If he wants to change his mind he knows where to find you.
     
  7. TheArtist

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    shadowraptor:
    Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and could relate to it so easily.
    This is exactly what is happening to me and I am trying my best to channel my feelings into "friendship feelings", but at the same time I'm not sure how to differentiate between letting him know that I'm there for him and I love him as a friend and making him feel like I'm hitting on him or something, it's an awkward thing that I can't seem to fully figure out..
    A really good point. Not only do I love him as a best friend, but he probably feels somewhat the same way about me in terms of our friendship, so it would be completely unfair for me to destroy our friendship because I'm unhappy with not progressing into a relationship.

    PatrickUK: Thank you again for your great advice.
    This is true, but he is still under the impression that I don't have feelings for him anymore after (which I told him). But if he knows me as well as he claims, he should obviously be able to figure out that my feelings are coming back.

    UPDATE:

    He and my other best friend invited me to their room before we went to a big party on campus. The second I walked in, she acknowledged me and asked me about my day, and he didn't even make eye contact with me, which seemed like a conscious effort. He didn't say hello or anything. There were a few other of their friends hanging out too, so I felt a little awkward not really knowing them well, and most of the night my two best friends didn't even speak to me or acknowledge my existence. We were a little drunk before we left for the party and we were listing to music and dancing, but he, again, refused to even make eye contact with me, and every time we dance in our friend group he tries really hard to stay away from me and NEVER dances with me, which I find extremely hurtful. I wonder if this is because he doesn't feel comfortable with me? Or does he just not feel close to me anymore, or is he afraid I'll think he likes me at the smallest thing? When we went to the actual party, my two friends were walking arm-in-arm like they were a couple, and he acts EXTREMELY affectionate towards her. This is probably the most hurtful part, they weren't nearly as close as he and I last year and now it feels like she has replaced me. And he has said several times that even though he is bisexual he would never date her and isn't attracted to her, but he just flirts with her relentlessly and it really hurts my feelings (if he refuses to do that to me purely out of merit because we're such good friends and it's wrong to be suggestive with your close friends, then he is a hypocrite). Once we got to the party, he saw a million of his friends (friends with absolutely everyone) and our other friend split off to go dancing. I went into the basement with him and our random other friend who he barely knows with the hopes of actually dancing with them. The entire time, once again, he acted like I wasn't even there and danced with her the entire time. She even kept making eye contact with me and motioning for me to dance with her, and at one point his back was to me and I was in a corner unable to move..So I decided to just leave because I wasn't having any fun and I was really pissed off at him. Later I got a text from our other best friend who we couldn't find saying that they were all back in their room and it was "the whole gang" and they wanted me to come..Which I found very confusing, because they go through this cycle of wanting me there and being nice, and then when I'm actually there they ignore me, and when I leave they act upset that I'm leaving. So today I'm just going to do a lot of homework and have some alone time to calm down and try to feel better about everything.
     
  8. musicman1982

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    Hi Evan!

    From the sounds of what I have read of your experiences. It is probably best if you move on from him. He obviously has things that he needs to work out and you should waste in light or time on him. From the sounds of it, as you probably gathered that he does not feel the same way. So, it's best for you to find a group of friends or even a special someone (If that comes up), who will appreciate your wonderfully creative energy (I'm a creative person as well, so I understand the whole creative personality).

    In reality, what is the use in wasting your time, light and energy on someone who will not reciprocate at all when it comes to having feelings for someone or even to be friends with. I'm not saying to go out with people, in order to make him jealous. Go out and meet people for yourself and at the end of the day, it's your life and no so-called friend, negative energy or whatever, should hold you down and experience new things and people and not only enrich your life, but who will appreciate your creative personality regardless if it's a friend or even a special some.
     
  9. TheArtist

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    musicman1982: You're absolutely right. I've been thinking about this all day. I feel like I'm not only holding onto hope that my feelings will become reciprocated, but that our friendship will regrow and become what it used to be. I think he and I need to discuss why we're both feeling some animosity towards each other and I need to explain how I'm feeling, but insist that I want to improve our friendship and nothing else. I also think another thing to do would be to find more friends, as I have a small friend group and although I am close to them each on an individual basis, it seems like I don't fit into the group. I want to become more involved in campus, too, so I'll look into some extracurriculars/clubs where I could meet new people. Thanks for the help! :slight_smile:
     
  10. musicman1982

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    You're welcome, Evan! You are exactly on the right path and yes do the extracurricular/clubs thing, are there any LGBT clubs, any Gay Straight Alliances or if there is anything that you want to do, that's cool to it doesn't have to be LGBT. It seemed from what you said in your previous message, both of you had a very strong friendship at the beginning, you both need to talk this out. If he not willing to. Then, the best thing for you to do, is to find friends that will appreciated you, as a person. If he not willing to talk about his feelings, it's his issue and not yours. Your not going to sacrifice yourself for him, if he is going to treat you like he has done lately. But, if he willing to talk about it, I would say take it a day at a time, don't go full throttle and it might or might not feel the same as it was at the beginning. To put a positive spin on it, if both your friendships have come to the round and you both go your seperate ways, you might each other under different circumstances as different people. So, if that happens don't think of it as 'OMG IT'S ENDED!!" If he ends up nearly being back to how you were before. Because, you will get friends in life who will come and go like those revolving doors, then friend who might stay around for a bit and then go, then maybe come back like a fly-by-night superhero. But with true friends they'll stick around for you and support you regardless, and anytime :wink:
     
  11. TheArtist

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    musicman1982: There are a few clubs I want to join, for example I'm going to start going to the art club meetings. My other close friend and I might also join the outing club which would be a great way to meet/bond with people. Next year I might try out for the tennis team, too, I played competitively in high school but decided to focus on school work in college, but I think it would be a really positive distraction and a great way to make friends. Also you are so right, I need to just talk to him about it openly and honestly and see what he has to say. I'm also going to Skype with one of my best friends today and ask her about what to do, so that should help! But thank you again for your advice.

    Love, in all capacities, is hard.
     
  12. musicman1982

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    Well, it's a start. Because it's better to be doing something that you enjoy rather then sitting at home and waiting for their reply. Once that you are into the swing of doing the art club and the tennis team, you'll be thinking...what problem? It's good that you want to talk to him and put this situation to rest, as you probably know that will make it easier for the both of you to live happily either getting back together as friends or moving on. It's great to ask everybody's advice including your friend who you are going to chat to on Skype. As I learnt from experience myself, you can ask all and sundry (everyone) for advice and you'll get different opinions, but when it comes to the outcome of facing the situation, there is only so much advice that you can follow, so when you are faced with the situation, don't feel overwhelmed when something goes wrong. Believe me, I can say that because I've done that. Whatever it comes down to, I'm sure there will be a resolution to this and go with your strongest instinct that will be fair for the both of you, rather then one of you.

    Tell me about it! lol