So for a while I was seeing this guy. I wasn't really interested in dating him at first, but we ended up dating for quite a while. A couple of years. He was there when my dysphoria started getting worse, and things got awkward fast, and long story short, I wanted to break up because he's straight, and I didn't think it would work out. So we did. A few months later and he wants to get back together, because he likes me for me, he says, and he wants to be there for me during my whole gender mess. Well, I turned him down. I'm happy being single, to be honest, and again, he's straight. It would be worse on him if we got back together, watching me change all the physical traits he finds attractive. Still, he keeps holding on to the possibility that we might start dating again, and it's really getting sort of uncomfortable, so we stop hanging out as much. We keep talking anyway. We're friends. Well tonight, I shoot him a text, and he says, "guess what?" Immediately I know he's found someone. And yes, he wanted me to know that his friend dared him to make a dating profile somewhere, and he did in fact meet someone. She's interesting, and pretty, and really really into him, and he's feeling wonderful. And I'm so happy for him. I really am. So why do I feel...I dunno, sort of upset? I really am glad he's found someone and he's happy!
Emotions are messy, unpredictable and generally a pain in the ass. You'll feel glad that he's moved on but there will always be something that will bother you about it. It's natural. Don't dwell on it too much. This is just a theory but I think you may feel 'upset' due to jealousy? I'll quote you on "She's interesting, and pretty, and really really into him, and he's feeling wonderful," suggesting that although you're happy for him you're kind of upset that you haven't found this someone yet. But that's just a theory. You're probably just most likely upset because... I don't know... no one can know. Emotions are always f****** with us.
even if you had no interest in ever being with him again, it still feels weird to know that our old flame is with someone new. This happens even if we have moved on to our true soul mate and love of our life. Maybe because we feel like he as "ours" in some way, even after the relationship ended. It's harder if we haven't found anyone new, because it just makes our feelings more intense. Feelings diminish with time, but it doesn't change how intense they are today. Hang in there! (*hug*)
