This will be a bit long winded so I am sorry and it will repeat some other things I have mentioned on here on other posts so again I apologise. Basically I just want to know if and when it will ever be my turn. My turn for love, my turn for intimacy, my turn for someone who isn't a nut case, sexually disease infected, or otherwise unsuitable to ever like me, wil it ever be my turn to hear a man tell me he loves me? Will it ever be my turn to have an actual proper chance to experience ANY form of intimacy with a man...even non-sexual? Will it ever be my turn to be held or hugged or heaven forbid kissed..and by kiss I mean more than just a friend peck on teh cheek. heck, will it ever be my turn to even do something so mundane as to get to hold hands with another man? Anyone I have ever liked rejects me, even those that I chat with on siocial media that I get on really well with and have lots in common with end up rejecting me....for all sorts of various reasons......they like me too much as a friend now to go down the sexual intimacy path with me, they dont want to be the one to take my virginity (yes I am in my 40's and still a virgin and I cant even GIVE it away to anyone halfway decent). TO be honest I dont even know how the whole sex thing even comes about....I mean I know what physically happens of course and what to do..but how does it go from "Hi how are you? to Let's get it on? I am actually serious. i have never had that conversation with anyone so i genuinely dont know how it actually happens. Does anyone know what I mean? I long to be loved and held and to love and hold someone else and to finally, finally experience the amazing joy of sex that everyone always talks about but I have never even got even vaguely close to experiencing. I guess I am even less appealing to people than I already imagine as i have gone on Gay dating sites and have put up pics like everyone else and filled out my profile like everyone else and all that and yet I get next to no response yet others I know get literally 100's of hits in the same amount of time. This has happened to me on various Fb pages too..I am lucky to get a dozen likes or comments whereas EVERYONE else gets 30-40-50 or even 100+. This hasnt happened once or twice. This happens every single time..and most of those who do like or comment are people I already know who just like or comment regardless. I know the sorts of responses I will get to this message. YEs, I have done teh whole positive thinking thing, the positive affirmation thing, the meeting people thing and all that...and the results of those efforts are all the things that I mentioned above....."You're such a nice guy but I know you too well now" Your turn will come"..and all the other trite crap that people dish out that they never actually mean. I guess I just feel like I am a complete and total sexual and intimacy reject that not one soul on earth has ever and will never see as anything more than just someone to have a fb chat to or whatever. I dont really even know what I am hoping to get from typing all this except to get it off my heavy and clearly unwanted and undesirable chest. Sorry for being morbid and morose but I needed to vent this all out and tell you all that I kind of know that I need to accept that love, sex, intimacy, affection and closeness are just not something that God has any inclination whatsoever to give to me in even the faintest or vaguest form at all. I will shut up now
Hey hi, I read your post and since you want a sincere answer I am not gonna bs you. I'm just curious, are you an obese guy? Because if you are that might be the problem. Remember that people are very shallow and will only say nice stuff as long as they don't see you as someone unattractive. If you are a little or somewhat fat then that problem is not that difficult, you just need to concentrate on losing weight and if possible get a nice shape, you will see how a lot if people will start talking to you and you will realize how shallow people really are.
the saying goes, if you want to have a friend, be a friend. a lot of the best relationships start out as friendships join organizations where you can be of service to others, and where you can be with people like you, with whom you could develop friendships. don't rush to the goal line, just enjoy the journey. I know you don't want cliches saying that everything is going to be OK. Maybe it will never be what you dream it will be. but think of how you might get to those dreams, how you might make yourself more attractive, how you might make friends. and then be patient with yourself. (*hug*)
