I just said yes to him and he's already irritating me. Help!!

One of the most frustrating things about me getting into a relationship is that they seem so amazing the entire time I know them but when I finally say yes, they're a totally different person. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone sends too many text messages. He has literally sent me 20 text messages after saying he loves me at least 4 times.They're all kissy faces and question marks and I'm trying to tell him to chill out with the texts, only to get replies like " I love you " and "what does this mean?" which doesn't make any sense. This is why I don't date people.

On a lighter note, he's one of my good friends and before all this, he was really nice, calm and kind and now it's like I'm being smothered within 5 hours. I told him that things where going too fast and when things go too fast, a relationship can get ruined.. I thought things would be great with him and that he would make a great boyfriend.. should I stick it out and try to sort things or break up with him before we get too deep? I'm so confused. :bang:

 

Alright, thanks.. I guess I just don't like the level of clingyness.

 

Thank you. In all honesty, he really is a good guy it's just that I'm very independent and while I like things like cuddling and spending time together, going on dates.. things like that.. I don't like it all the time and I certainly don't like it when people expect me to text back right away. It's been a day, I thought I'd give it a try and see if I have any true feelings for him but if this continues after multiple times I've asked him to stop then I probably won't go through with it.. the only thing is that I feel bad about thinking about breaking things off, especially this early because I know that even though we'd be good, he'd be hurt.

I don't know if it's me? Like I always feel whenever I date someone that they're wanting to date anyone and not specifically me, like they want the idea of love but they're basically just picking anyone who'd be up for it. It makes me feel so stupid because I truly do want a relationship yet I always seem to end up with the clingy, desperate people who don't know what they want in the end and I know what I want. I know what my relationship goals are so to be like this status to those who I say yes to hurts my feelings a bit. Then again, I don't know if that's just me being whiny?

 

I've already confronted him today. He said sorry, then continued to do it. I'm seriously considering the whole " I think we should just stay friends" thing because he just turned into this different person and it's the spitting image of my last relationship.

I went to bed last night with all this on my mind. I kept asking myself, "Why is this bothering me? He's a good friend, why am I getting so irritated?" and it dawned on me that I said yes even though I told myself no a million times before. Then the question became, "Why did I say yes?" and I realized that I said yes because I wanted a relationship and that I was fine with dating him but my conscience is telling me that this relationship is just a statement, just like every other relationship I've been in. Every relationship I've been in was just a simple status. They don't want me specifically, they want someone. Someone that they can brag about because they are in love with the idea of being in love, not the idea of being in an actual relationship.

No one who isn't like this asks me out. Why? I'm not attractive and I understand that, completely. The people that ask me out are the ones who only care about having a status and that's not what I want. I want someone who is caring, loving and who can listen to me as I do them. This isn't it.

 

I want to clear a few things up because I believe I'm coming off like a complete asshole.

I've known this guy for about 16 years at the least. I know him through my sports and we even took the same class in college. He's not a bad guy, he's not a clingy or annoying friend which is why I said yes to him. He had asked me out prior and I've been putting it off because I don't know what to say to him. My head was confused. On one hand, I truly did want to date him because he was a great friend but on the other hand I didn't want to date him because A) I thought about our friendship first and B) I didn't really like him that much. Yes, I did say yes to him because I wanted a relationship and I believe that it was stupid of me to say yes when I was on the fence about the situation but I don't believe that it makes me vain or pathetic.

I don't take people's appearances into consideration. If they're really, really attractive, that's just an added bonus. I don't see it as a must have. If someone doesn't know how to right or doesn't have proper grammar, I don't care.. granted there are a few turn offs and deal breakers but I'm sure a lot of other people would feel the same way.

As for him, I told them it would be best if we stayed friends. He has yet to message me but I figure that if I'm this stressed about it, then I just need to do it and from now on, I will give myself strict rules to not date friends and to figure out a person's true behavior before I say yes.