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Spouse makes me want to cringe

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Mystic flower, Feb 8, 2015.

  1. Mystic flower

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
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    A few people
    My marriage is complicated, but it's the dysfunction that makes it work. It is when night falls that the stuff really happen.

    Husband is crazy over the fact that I am bi, and it ok with it. But he takes it as his opportunity to live out his fantasies. We have a third wheel, so to speak, and lately I have been avoiding her because, well, she is crazy. But he still has her around. He is allowing her to take advantage of him and he is ok with it. Another part of him that makes me cringe is that he is into porn. Nothing like a mood killer.
    I guess not having a healthy sex life is making me cringe. I just need someone to hold me, is that so much to ask?!
     
  2. jay777

    Regular Member

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    I'd say talk it out.
    Really talk about it. About your feelings and needs.

    There is more to sex than this porn stuff. Imo there should be love there, too.


    If you need help you might consider a counselor.


    hugs
     
  3. Mystic flower

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    I spoke to my husband about my thoughts and feelings regarding the 3rd wheel and he now sees how destructive it is to our marriage. Thank you for suggesting that I talk it out. My thoughts and feelings have been spinning in my head at an overwhelming rate. My world is spinning a little too fast right now, and hopefully soon it will slow down enough so that I can enjoy it. I have my next therapy session tomorrow so it is something I look forward to. This transition phase in my life is overwhelming. Learning to stand on my own two feet feels shaky and yet I know I need to. Boundaries are slowly being set in place and I am slowly taking back my life. I am a survivor of abuse, no longer a victim :slight_smile: