I met a girl online. Have lots in common; similar interests, jobs and sense of humor. We have been out several times already... The problem is that I STILL feel zero attraction. Physically or personality wise. I take a while to warm up to people--> knowing myself, it would take me several more dates to know if an attraction could ever develop. At the same time, I don't want to waste her time and; 2 months later say "sorry, let's just be friends". *sigh* I just feel like I knock down any situations that come my way due to my lack of attraction to...ANY BODY (no, I'm not asexual...but sometimes feel like I might as well be).
Well it might develop into a friendship... What is it that takes you to warm up ? Do you have restraints showing yourself ? Communicating about deeper things, that really move you ? hugs
You know, I'm like you, it takes time to really open up... In my case it's years, and even after those years there will be still places and thoughts that I won't share with a partner, 'cause they belong to me, or I just don't want my partner to know everything about me. There is nothing wrong with being the way you are, so don't feel like there is pressure. And don't let others put any pressure on you. It's up to them to decide how they spend their time, and besides you are not wasting anyone's time, 'cause you are most probably someone who is worth to spend that amount of time in getting to know. I always say, things that are worth the effort take time.
It depends on the other person's personality, to an extent. I react more to those that are more open and outgoing. Those are the types I attract to more readily and easily. This girl, on the other hand is more reserved (even more so than myself)... I need somebody to draw me out, and to "challenege" me in a sense. In this case, I think I'm going to have to be the one to do that with her... * wow, I'm kind of glad I posted. It's allowing me to gain more clarity on the situation* I also don't know how far I can "go" with her in terms of talking about things... about deeper issues, important thoughts and even controversial things. I don't want to scare her off... but if I do, it means we weren't a good fit in the first place, I guess. ---------- Post added 9th Feb 2015 at 09:34 PM ---------- Thanks for the encouragement. You are right, I can't and shouldn't let anybody pressure me into making any decision before I'm ready. My friends all think that 3rd time or 4th time's the charm... and that it's about time I spoke to her. I really don't feel it is necessary, at this point.
(*hug*) I'd say the same. You might try to show some of the real you, and try to make really meaningful conversations...
