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Should I end it now?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by LuxuryDeluxe, Feb 9, 2015.

  1. LuxuryDeluxe

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2015
    Messages:
    5
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    Location:
    Norway
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So, I've been in a relationship with a girl for about 7-8 months now, and it has been great! Until now, that is.
    So, around december I figured out that I'm trans, and that opened a whole new world of thoughts I had to think, and things I had to consider.

    BUT, after I realised this I've had some troubles with my relationship. I've had some minor issues with it before, but now it's just... it's worse!

    1. I get realy jelous on her more than any other. When she get videogames and gets to watch movies in the cinema as often as she does it makes me mad. I blame this on me and my family being poor when I was around the ages of 0-10. She gets EVERYTHING she wants, and had a perfect life compared to me. She doesn't know, but it deeply upsets me when she talks about it... At least she doesn't act like a spoiled brat....

    2. She refuses to grow up! We became friends at 5.th grade, so I was perfectly OK with her behaviour at that time. I too am a very childish induvidual, but I know for a fact that IF I want to survive out there in the open world I should at least ACT a bit mature. I have realy mature thoughts and ways to look at situations. But she's just... Not what I think suits me..

    3. Our mutal friends... Or as I'd like to call them; the only friends I have in my class. And I don't really like them. Or, they're nice and all, and fun to talk to SOMETIMES, but they're just as childish as her sometimes! Their interests consists of Disney, Pixar, Dreamwork, Anime and other things I don't like. I used to be a sucker for Anime, but I've outgrown that phase. (I AM NOT IMPLYING THAT LIKING THESE THINGS ARE CHILDISH, but my friends like it in a childish fashion )
    Most of the time me and my girl are together is at school. Also where my other friends are. AND THEY ARE COMPLEATLY IGNORING ME AND STRAIGHT UP "OBSESSES" OVER MY GF'S OPINION ON EVERYTHING. I hate that, because when I'm alone with her she's like the best match I could get, but with others I don't like being with her. It's that simple.

    4. She doesn't seem like she cares too much. I am always the one that sends the messages. I'm always the one that asks if she want to hang out. I'm the only one who puts any effort into this relationship! I honestly get the feeling that she doesn't give a damn fly! I can see the excuse that she's a very shy girl AND that she has her own problems at the time (which she never tells me anything about) so yeah.. But I'm dealing with problems too, and I'm perfectly able to pick up my phone, text her and ask if she want to hang...


    There are a couple of reasons why I want to stay with her too, though...

    1. I'm afraid it might crush her if I break up. She's dealing with some problems, I don't know WHAT kind of problems, but something it is. She is also a pretty isolated person, and I've never heard her talk about feelings to me since the time she came out as bi to me (and I confessed my feelings for her yay) Since then. No emotions! So I have no idea how serious these problems are. I don't want to be the reason why she eventually becomes worse, or if she harms herself...

    2. If I break up I'll have no place to be at school. The only reason I'm with my friends is because of her, and if I break up I've got to leave the gang (which is something I want, but I don't want to leave her) Therefore I'd have to find somewhere else to be at school. And I have no idea where I COULD go. EVERY CORNER IS OCCUPIED, and the corners that aint is used as playgrounds where 14 year olds throw their fruit on the wall... Yuck...

    3. I do really like her personality. When we're alone... And when we're not roleplaying/pretending to be someone we aren't. But this is sadly not often. We share LOTS of common interests, and she is the only person I know that has so many common interests AND that would date me...


    But all of this has to end soon, because I'm planning to move away so I can go to school. This would mean I'd only have the weekends home, where I could visit her, or vice verca... But I don't want that. I want a relationship with someone I can see more often. So I'm going to break up IF I get accepted in that school.

    But I'm not sure IF I SHOULD END IT NOW?
    And sorry for long post, but I really need other and far more experienced people to help me with this
     
  2. slushhhhy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2014
    Messages:
    39
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    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Some people
    well reasons why you should stay with her: you like her; she doesn't suck the life out of you; she's cute; similar things

    reasons why you shouldn't stay with her: you don't like her; you would be happy with any other person who could fill your dire needs; she sucks the life out of you; she is abusive; etc etc.

    if you think you'll hurt her by breaking up with her, then break up with her because that is NOT the reason for staying with someone. break ups hurt. the only reason they wouldn't is if you didn't give a shit about each other.

    have you tried to ask her what she's dealing with? if you did, how did you go about that, and what was her response?

    how do things generally go when you're with your girlfriend?