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Long distance vs real life relationship choice

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by SensesFailX, Feb 9, 2015.

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  1. SensesFailX

    SensesFailX
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    So I've been in a long distance relationship for about a year and some parts of it were really great and we got along perfect but its also been really stressful considering my boyfriend is very depressed and suicidal constantly and it really drags me down. He doesn't like his body and whenever I give him advice on how to get healthier he ignores it and makes excuses. He can be really funny and sweet but at the same time most days he's very stubborn, depressed, and self hating. He also absolutely will not get therapy or help.

    So anyhow lately I've came out more to people who are actually close to me and theres been quite a few guys that are interested in a relationship. And while most of them I probably wouldn't get along with quite as well as my current boyfriend, I know it'd be lighthearted and fun. It really sucks coming home every day to try and talk someone out of suicide.

    The thing is I can't just leave my boyfriend considering how much I still care about him plus the fact that he'd probably resort to ending his life if I left him. But I also can't go on with him like this considering how depressed it makes me as well.

    Any advice?
     
    #1 SensesFailX, Feb 9, 2015
  2. Lyana

    Lyana
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    That is one of the worst reasons to stay with someone that I can think of. My advice would be to get out of there, fast.

    I was once in a situation where someone (depressed, and with a past of suicide attempts) threatened to commit suicide if I didn't go out with them. That's emotionally manipulative at best. It was a very stressful and painful situation for me, and took a toll on me for months. Don't let that happen to you.

    My father told me -- he meant it in the best possible way, and I realize now that he was right -- that people in this state of mind will only bring you down. And I know what it's like to want to help, and support; to care so much it would kill you if they died and you could have prevented it. But the thing is, he is not your responsibility.

    Your boyfriend needs help, but not the help you can bring him -- especially if he's not willing to take your advice.

    Good luck.
     
    #2 Lyana, Feb 10, 2015
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