Bisexuals: your experiences dating women vs men

I don't think it's that different dating women than men. Personally I think it's easier to open up with women cause you can have "girl talk". Like you can have a girl friendship but deeper cause it's a relationship. It's pretty awesome. For me men usually pay mostly... but with two women the whole chilvary, man mostly pays, doesn't apply... so when dating women, we usually take turns paying for stuff... ummm that's all really. I just look for if a person's personality clicks with me for a partner, and I don't care if they are a man or woman; if I like them, I will date them. Just give women a chance.

 

I pretty much agree with bicomplicated. I don't think there are clean-cut differences between the genders that would help me say, "Next time, I want to date a guy." Me being bi means I don't not date someone because of their gender. You never know, Thingymajing -- the next person you crush on might be a woman, and then you'll want to date her.

I'm curious as to why you don't think you have "what it takes" to date a woman? I may be naive, but the way I see it, all it "takes" is being physically and emotionally attracted to a woman.

That said... I've dated two guys (one casual, one in a 9-month relationship) and am currently seeing a girl. I've never missed the other gender. I did crush on a girl towards the end of my relationship with my ex, but it could have been a guy and it would have been the same thing; I wasn't looking for a girl, I just happened to meet a brilliant one. Now that I'm with a girl for the first time, I don't ever think, 'Damn, I miss guys.' A relationship can be satisfying regardless of which gender I'm with. Of course, my relationships haven't been very long, either, so that may play a part. I don't know.

I don't compare the relationships daily (or even ever), and I don't think that's a great thing to do. Every relationship is going to be different, anyway. Compare one guy to the next and you may get something really different.
- I definitely like what bicomplicated talked about: not always the same person paying, but not "It's your turn tonight," either; we just don't keep count and are spontaneous ( if one of us has just received her monthly money, she'll splurge to celebrate). Whereas my ex almost wouldn't let me pay for myself, and I had to fight him every step of the way. That probably says more about my ex than about guys in general, though.
- And yes, you can have "girl talk." Not even "romantic talk," but just talking it out when one of us is upset, angry, or just happy. I'm not the oversharing type, but it is one of my favorite things so far: knowing I can go to her about something and she'll really care. Even though we're wildly different, come from different backgrounds and had different upbringings, I do feel like she gets me better and I get her better. We don't even talk about feelings often, so I'm not sure why this is, it's just something I feel. But it is a stereotype, and it's not always going to be like that; again, just my experience with this one woman.
- The kissing is so much better. I've made out with 3 guys, and she blows them all out of the water. Just sayin'.

That's it, really. I can't think of any definite WOMEN VS MEN characteristics. It depends on the person. And that's what's great about being bi, you can date an awesome woman or an awesome man.

 

Mentally? On average, I find different aspects of communication easier with men or women. I can't stress enough how much it depends on the individual. I've had communication misunderstandings with both men and women. Although it happens less when a person understands what makes me tick and vice versa. I'm only dealing with a small sample size, so I'm also thinking about how easy it is to communicate with male and female friends.

Physically? Well, some techniques change. That's about it. The end result is pretty much the same. Initially, I feel more comfortable getting frisky with guys. Although that soon balances out. I think men and women both have the potential to be great kissers. I just don't enjoy feeling like I'm kissing a hedgehog AKA very prickly facial hair. Some people like that and I say good for them. They probably don't enjoy some things I like.

Socially? I'm lucky to live in a pretty accepting area. Obviously other people can react differently depending on if you're dating a man or a woman. Some folk are always going to insinuate that you're actually heterosexual or homosexual. It used to get on my nerves and then I realised it doesn't matter. My new knife arrived and I can't be bothering typing much more right now.

All I really miss is the intensity in some past relationships. Although I certainly don't miss the lows. That has nothing to do with gender.

 

I can really relate to your inexperience with women. It was exactly what scared me off from being with a woman. The fear of failing in pleasing your partner and not knowing what to do. But I think women are mostly very understanding and would not be scared to talk about it with you. So when you finally find one you like and feel like you are ready to take the step you should just talk to her about it - and take it one step at a time until you feel comfortable with the situation.

My own experience was that the fear had been in my head and when it came to the real sexual interaction it was not as bad as I thought it would be for a first time with a woman.

 

I think I understand what you're trying to say, and luckily for me, my first real relationship was with my best friend. She and I had known each other for many years, so transitioning for friends to lovers wasn't all that bad. However, I did regret dating her because it just about ruined our friendship.

Afterwards, I started dating a guy, who is the father of my kids, but things did not work out between him and I. We were together on and off for many years and during the times we were off, I'd date women. I will say that dating a woman after being with a man for so long was difficult. I was so used to being sort of submissive, being scratched by facial hair, manly smelling body products, short hair and just overall, masculinity.

Being with a woman was completely different; long hair, sweet smelling body products, no facial hair, doing each others' hair, sharing body products, clothes, shoes etc.

Being with a man sexually was tolerable and being with a woman was more fulfilling, but I sort of have a problem with intimacy, but that's another story. Anyway, hope this helps somewhat...

 

I think I may be bisexual, but the thought of kissing a guy is like kissing my guy friends which I do not like.

I do not know how dates will work out with guys. I never saw it as a possibility until a last year, and it's kind of weird. I'm not sexually attracted to guys my age, but there is some level of attraction towards older men which is quite odd.