So around the end of last semester I met someone, and it took us a while to hang out in person. However, we were very interested in one another. But just as Winter Break started, we finally hung out and REALLY hit it off. We immediately liked each other a lot and I stayed over at his place pretty late. He told me after I got home how much he enjoyed my company, etc. We proceeded to hang out three more times that week, and I thought I really found my person. He then went out of town for a week during Christmas time, and when he got back, I was deathly ill until a few days after New Years. During this time, he sent me long texts about how we are in different chapters of our lives (he is 22 and graduating soon, and I'm 19 and in my second semester of college). But he still wanted to see me and how much he liked me. When we finally hung out again, it just felt different but still the same. I felt like I was nervous to see him since I hadn't seen him in such a long time. I was going to spend the night, but my cough got so bad that I left after midnight. It was kind of just like "goodbye". Then I cried in the car, for some reason. I texted him the next day saying sorry if I was acting weird, and I'd love to hang out this week and go to dinner. It took him a WEEK to reply, and he said "I'm sorry for just getting back to this, I've been really busy". I replied that it was okay, I've been in the same boat. He then never replied. A few weeks later he contacted me again, stating how busy he is with life in general. He then proceeded to invite me to the library to study, so I went. We flirted and smiled and all of that, but then I got so tired. He drove me to my dorm and dropped me off after I was quiet in the car due to being so cold and tired. I got out and told him I'd text him later, and he just smiled. I don't know if he was expecting me to kiss him, or what. I texted him later saying how great it was to see him, and almost a day later he said "it was good to see you to". I didn't reply. The next night we snap chatted a lot back and forth. Then a few days later he saw me while I was waiting in the Starbucks line and texted "Starbucks line, huh?" while he was a few feet away. I felt so awkward and uncomfortable because I don't know where I stand with him, so I got really shaky and nervous and replied "what?". He never replied. Now I find myself still really liking him and caring for him because he was the closest thing I ever got to a real relationship. He was many firsts for me and now I feel empty and depressed all of the time. I feel like I completely ruined it with how virginal and inexperienced I am. I snapped him the other day, and he opened it and didn't reply, so that was great. And the last time I saw him he was at a distance and I smiled and waved, and he just kind of waved back... I'm not at all sure what to do. I want to talk to him and apologize for where I feel like I went wrong, like the one night or the Starbucks incident. Though he is leaving for New York at the end of this semester and I'm wondering if it is even worth it at this point because of this fact. I just miss him and I have no way if he even feels the same way about me or not... :tears:
of course it's worth it! before you apologize though, i think you should tell him how you feel about him so he will not be confused, and so he will understand where he stands with you :icon_redf whether he feels the same or not, it's just a relief that you've done your part.. and who knows, he might actually likes you too :"> maybe he just don't know what to do too because he's about to leave.. anyway, goodluck buddy i wish you two the best (*hug*) :thewave:
