Well, this really cute grad student messaged me on a dating app yesterday. From reading her profile and the few messages we exchanged, it seems like we are very similar people. She just recently asked me out to coffee too. I've never been in a relationship before though, and she is about 6 and half years older than me (I'm 23, she's 29--almost 30). To be honest, I've never really given much thought to dating someone older than me; I've always thought that they wouldn't be interested in me because I'm younger for some reason. But I mean, I'm really not that bothered by it, we share a lot of the same views, she seems very intelligent, and she's also extremely attractive (oh and if her profile is any indicator, she's funny too). What concerns me is that I'm certain she's a lot more experienced than I am--considering I've never even kissed anyone before--and I am scared of screwing things up in some manner. I really have no idea what I'm doing. Another concern is that she wants to start a family in the next 5 years. Again, this is just something that I've honestly just not given much thought about. Being a mom now would scare the absolute shit out of me, but when I'm 28? If I'm secure financially and with someone that I love, it's something that I could see being much more reasonable for me. I should be a few years into a high school teaching career by then. But I'm also scared that I'm gonna fuck up somehow and just end up working fast food or something instead. The high school English teacher market is also kind of saturated right now from what my professors have told me. She's getting her PHD, so if I were not able to go into a teaching career, I'm afraid that would affect things too. Of course, that's getting pretty far ahead of myself, but just some things I have to keep in mind. My anxiety and past record of rejection just make me not very confident and I keep thinking that she's gonna realize that I'm really not that special and not want to see me anymore. Maybe this will get better after we actually go out for coffee and meet each other in real life. Also, should I mention never having been in a relationship before if she asks me about my dating history or something? I don't want her to lose interest in me for that, but I don't want to nervously dodge the question either if it comes up. I know I'm just really over thinking things--I mean, we haven't even met in real life yet--but that's kind of what I do.
