Hi, I know I haven't been on here in a really long time, but I just wanted to ask a question since this community has always been really helpful with answering questions. Anyways, I broke up with my girlfriend around 6 months ago, we were only in a relationship for around 6 months. And I broke up with her for various reasons, but not because I thought she was a bad person or because I didn't care about her. I still care about her and worry for her. But anyways, when I broke up with her she cut me off completely from her life, she de-friended me on facebook and she deleted me on skype. So she was obviously pretty hurt or pissed or both. But anyways, I never actually wanted things to be that way, I wanted to actually stay connected with her and perhaps in time be friends with her. And I know that's not always possible, but I was just wondering if it would be weird if I did try to reconnect with her. Just a text or a facebook message or something inquiring about how she's doing and letting her know that I don't hate her and it's okay if she doesn't want to talk to me again, but I just wanted her to know that I'm open to talking to her if she so desired. But I don't know if that's the right thing to do. I am still friends with one of her friends on facebook. But I don't know them that well, would it be weird to send them a message? Thanks for any advice you can give me.
The most important thing I see here is that she deleted you from everything. How she felt isn't relevant, it's what her intentions were. I suspect she removed any signs of you she could so that she could move on, and if she hasn't tried to contact you since then I think you should leave it alone. If you reach out to her despite what she's done then it's unfair on both of you. If you still want contact then you have to hope that she will eventually be secure enough to make that leap herself, you shouldn't force or persuade her in my opinion.
Okay makes sense, thanks. I guess I just wondered if she thought that I didn't want to talk to her ever again because I was the one who broke up with her. But it makes sense that if she deleted me from everything then she was trying to erase me from her life.
I agree. I also tend to think that it is usually up to the one that has been "broken up with" to make the first step towards "reconnecting," or at least to indicate that they're open to the possibility. If she's so completely cut you out of her life, there's a good chance she wouldn't take very well to you trying to get back in touch. My ex (who dumped me) has tried several times to be friendly with me, but it feels forced and makes me feel uncomfortable, so I've always brushed it off. That said, there's no harm in letting her know you're don't not want to talk to her. I think. Just one text, which she can choose to reply to or ignore, shouldn't be harmful.
