I got really friendly with a guy last year over a long period of time who I was convinced was bi/gay/questioning and possibly into me (also closeted bi/questioning) due to a string of clues and hints and my gaydar going off from almost the first time I met him. I know he'd had previous girlfriends and understood he had recently broken up with a long term one (although he didn't tell me that). We didn't see eachother for some time as we live a long way apart. We initally kept in touch with messages but it was generally me who initiated and after a while it felt like he was avoiding me which was weird after we'd hung out so much as friends. I decided not to contact him for a long while to give him space. It only made my feelings stronger for him. I had a terrible few months. We eventually connected again briefly on text and resumed occasional contact, speaking once or twice on the phone too. My feelings for him hadn't altered and I felt he was still at least happy communicating as friends. I met up with him again recently and although he didn't tell me himself I found out through something a friend said in passing that he had a girlfriend. It's actually his ex who he must've got back with just in the last few weeks. When I saw him my crush was actually nowhere near as strong as it was and I had no problem that he had a gf. It would've been nice for him to have told me as a friend that he was back with her. Anyway, whilst my crush for him is greatly reduced and not because of him having a gf, I still think he's possibly gay/bi etc. and could've got back with her as a cover because he maybe spent several months questioning whilst they were apart but couldn't face up to coming out. Of course he might be back with her because he still loves her. That's fine. But there are still, even now, so many hints about him as a person that I can't believe he's not hiding something about his orientation. It's sad and frustrating for me because we get on really well as friends. It actually felt like we were a couple at times last year and I know we'd actually be an amazing couple together and he would finally be the motivation for me to come out myself. I'm not actually interested in any other guys. I love this guy for his personality. Sexual attraction hardly even comes into it really. I know I can't change him and I will be seeing him again soon on a semi regular basis. I am content to just work on my friendship because that alone is worth so much to me. However, it would be lovely to think something else could develop in time. Is there anything I can look for or ask him about to delve deeper without actually asking him flat out whether he's totally straight. Of course, I don't want to wreck his relationship with his gf in any way but I can't help thinking it's not all it seems or that it may not actually last this time. I've had this happen in my life a couple of times before and one time I knew from the get go that the guy was gay. He came out a few years later. By that time we were no longer friends and workmates.
