So on Monday (yesterday) my girlfriend broke up with me because I cut myself, even though she knows that I was trying to stop for her. She was in my first class today and I was crying my eyes out the entire lesson. But she didn't even notice. And she was all happy and everything and it seemed like the breakup didn't even effect her, even though one of her friends told me that she still loves me. While I was crying, one of my friends went over to the table that she was at and basically told her "she's crying over you because you broke her heart even though she was trying to stop cutting for you" and asked her to go and talk to me. My friend came back and told me that she said she wants to talk to me but "not at this present time" (her words not mine). And throughout the entire lesson she didn't even look at me. I just don't know what to do.:tears:
maybe she was tired of seeing you hurt yourself, because it was hurting her? maybe she thinks it's easier than it really is for you to just stop. just because she seems happy doesn't mean she really is. maybe she's just better at distancing herself from her feelings, or controlling her emotions? i'm sorry that she broke up with you, but you should look after yourself. :/ i think it's a good sign that she still has feelings for you, and you should try to hold it together and be hopeful for the future. maybe try to find out when she wants to talk to you and what about? my girlfriend also cuts herself sometimes, and for me i find it hard to be close to her when she does this. it's like i feel hurt that she would hurt herself, and i guess i feel hopeless to making her feel better. many many times it feels like we're close to breaking/giving up. i guess what i'm trying to say is it could be hard for her, and she just needed a break because she was hurting too? i don't know if what i'm saying makes sense. things may not be as upsetting for her as they are for you, due to you perhaps being more sad in general or whatever, but that doesn't mean she hasn't been affected by things. try to look after yourself, give her the space if she wants that, and let her talk to you :/ i hope things get better for you. we're here for support.
She was in my second period class today. I, of course, broke down when I saw her. We were sitting on opposite sides of the room. One of my friends went over to talk to her after he had finished comforting me. He told me to check my phone so I did. I had a message from her saying that she still wants to talk to me and not to think that she didn't. I texted back saying that I thought she hated me and was ignoring me. She said no and that the only reason that she hadn't talked to me was because I hadn't talked to her. She told me to come over and talk to her so I did. My friend who talked to her said that she still has feelings for me. I texted her at break saying that I still love her even if she didn't feel the same. No response. I texted her when I got home saying that I needed to know if she still has feelings for me. Still no response. I'm so confused but I really don't want to give up on this relationship.
It can be extremely emotionaly draining for someone to be in a relationship with another person that is struggling with something like chronic depression and cutting themselves. Im sure if your girlfriend was struggling with the same thing and you werent, it would be very difficult for you. Its very normal for all of us to want a relationship no matter if we are struggling with something or not. However, you may want to consider asking for more professional help, support and direction for your cutting, it doesnt have to continue and can learn new ways of coping with help and hard work on your part. Im sure your friend is a bit confused too.
