Hi! I would greatly appreciate some input to my situation. There is this guy who I am very attracted to. I work with him, and the real kicker, I work with his girlfriend. I actually really like his girlfriend, so I don't even humor my feelings for this guy. However, he does not make it easy. Almost every time we talk, I feel as if he's flirting with me. He'll massage my shoulders, and even smack my butt. For some reason, he really dislikes the fact that me and his girlfriend are friends. He'll even say, "you can't have us both!". The other night, we all went out, him, his girlfriend, and a few others. One of their friends asked if I was gay, and I said I was. Apparently, one of their friends was gay, because he was hitting on me all night. Since I had no leads with work guy, I decided to talk to this guy. He seemed really nice and was really cute, so I was excited that maybe something would happen. However, work guy didn't seem to happy about it. He always interrupted us when we were alone, and at the end of the night, work guy even warned me to stay away from him. Saying "We wouldn't be a good match." A couple of days later, I worked with just his girlfriend, and she asked me if I had fun the other night. Apparently she was clueless that I was talking to one of their friends, because when I mentioned it, she got really excited. She was the exact opposite of work guy, she said that she "honestly believes we'd be a good match". So clearly something isn't adding up. What do you think is going on? Is work guy just playing around? Do you think he has feelings for me? I don't like to think that way, but part of me does. But how could he have a girlfriend, and have feelings for me as well? It just seems complicated. Any advice?
I wouldn't want to jump to conclusions but there is a possibility that the work guy is jealous. For one, he sometimes slaps your butt and massages your shoulders. I haven't seen a guy do that to another guy unless they are really close or in a relationship. He might have indirectly told you he wants you when he says "you can't have us both". I am trying not to read too much into this. I think you should talk to him. Not straight out why is he acting that way. More like " hey, why do you think I and person's name wouldn't work out?" If he gives a bullshit answer. He is obviously likes you and can't act on his feelings for you if he had one to start with. Good luck with this and try to be careful, you wouldn't want to get your feelings hurt . Life is too short to be stuck because of someone. See how it works out with the other guy. He could end up being the good guy for you like your coworker's gf said.
Hey thanks so much for responding! And I agree, I try not too look to far into it. I did ask him why he didn't think me and the other guy would be a good match, but all he had to say was that "We're too different and he didn't think it'd work out." he wouldn't get any more specific than that. So I don't know what to do now. Maybe I should give him a chance anyway, but then that might seem like a snub to work guy's opinion...maybe I should ask his girlfriend again and see what she says.
If you like the other guy pursue him and see where it takes you. Your work friend might like you and he's jealous of you for his own reasons. However, he already has a girlfriend, so unless he breaks up with her there's no much you can do, and even if you tried doing something he'd blame you for whatever happens.
I wouldn't really take much from it at all. Some guys are just overtly friendly. I get my ass slapped all the time at work by two different guys, but again they think I'm straight, so it is a different situation. Really hard to tell when the guy knows you are gay and continues to do this, but that kind of behaviour is actually common among straight males, they get really friendly with eachother.
Sounds like Work Guy is being inappropriate. Have you spoken with him about this directly? Like, "Sorry to have to ask, dude, but are you flirting with me?"
Hi again Dillno21234, You should not bother about what work guy say. I say you give it a go for the other guy. You should confront work guy again asking him "Why you and the other guy wont work because the two of you are different and that you want specific reasons. if not, his excuses are invalid and you are going to probably go out with the other guy". If you are feeling really brave on that day, ask him "if he is jealous and has feeling for you because that is the only reason you can think of". Also take to his girlfriend and give her a hint that a guy thinks you and the other guy wont work out and listen to what she has to say about that. Now, take a sit and think about you and this other guy. Do you genuinely like him. Do you think you would be happy with him. Be careful, you do not want to get your feelings hurt. Talk to the other guy too and see if he likes you too. Goodluck .
