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Please, please help!! I don't know what to do :(

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Shinedown, Feb 23, 2015.

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  1. Shinedown

    Shinedown
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    I'm in a secret relationship with my girlfriend, Kate, because if my parents found out, they would disown me and possibly harm her, which I cannot live with.

    As of now, my parents slightly suspect Kate is more than a friend. Since my girlfriend is a secret, I changed her name in my phone to Carter in case my parents saw me texting. I accidentally left my phone at home when I went to school one day, and when I came back I found out my dad went through it.

    There were 97 messages sent between Carter and myself, many in which Carter had been swearing and small suggestions we were more than friends. They asked if Carter was Kate, and I said no. They asked who he was, and out of panic, I said he was from school. My parents told me that they want to meet Carter and talk with him about not swearing around me, as they are "overprotective parents". I told them no, but they keep pushing. I don't know what I should do; if I keep saying no, they will find out Carter is actually my girlfriend.

    Kate doesn't know what I should do. I was thinking maybe I could pay a guy friend from my school to say, "Hey, I'm Carter" and take a scolding from my parents, but I don't think they would agree, and they would have to find out about Kate and myself. I also thought that I could say I met Carter at a concert, but they would get suspicious again since I lied about him being a friend from school.

    I would pay someone all that I have, cut off my leg, kill a person, anything, to keep Kate in my life.

    What can I do? Please, please help. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated :tears:
     
    #1 Shinedown, Feb 23, 2015
  2. lyjo

    lyjo
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    Wow. No offence, but your parents sound horrible. I mean I'm sure they're good parents, but going through your phone and stuff, that's pretty hardcore. Do you have any close guy friends that would pretend to be Carter? I mean, there really isn't any other way out. If you find someone willing to do that, make sure you have a backup plan in case your oarents figure out his name isn't Carter. Maybe say it's a joke between the two of you, and Carter is his nickname because that what he used to all his imaginary twin (random example). This is a pretty messed up situation... And unless you tell them about Kate, it's gonna be tricky. I assume from what you wrote that you don't want to ask any guy from school? I'll try inventing an evil mastermind plan :wink:

    Go to a gay bar, befriend a gay guy, tell him about your situation, and ask him to help you out. (He'll probably be very understanding) Then let him meet your parents. If he's obviously gay, your parents'll consider the suggestive comments to just have been friendly jokes. Of course, if your parents are homophobic, this won't work half as well as I imagine.

    Damn, I have no helpful advice... Your parents already suspect that there's something between you and Kate. And dragging on this lie could end up badly. What if they call the school to check if Carter really exists? You could get the guy to say he was just there for a basketball match or something, but only if they have those in your school.

    Try finding an elaborate plan. Personnally, my pkan to take over the world was easier than this... But first of all, find someone to pretend to be Carter. Will your parents want to talk to his parents?
     
    #2 lyjo, Feb 23, 2015
  3. whattodoii

    whattodoii
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    I don't think you should pay someone, because that could get really ugly... But why were they freaking out so much? There were only messages, which mean nothing, and I think you should lock your phone with a password, in case you were to leave it at home? And the meeting part, I think is too much, so maybe if you'll keep saying no, they'll eventually stop?
    Good luck and keep us updated :slight_smile: *hug*
     
    #3 whattodoii, Feb 23, 2015
  4. Shinedown

    Shinedown
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    None taken :slight_smile: Unfortunately, the guys that I am close with my parents have already met. I am not old enough to go to a gay bar, and if I could go, my parents most likely wouldn't allow me to. I do have an acquaintance who is bi, but I don't know if he would be comfortable doing something like that for me, since we don't talk often. I'll continue looking for someone who would be willing to be Carter. Thank you so, so much for your help!! And please let me know if you think of anything else.

    ---------- Post added 23rd Feb 2015 at 08:07 AM ----------
    Thank you for your advice!! :slight_smile: They most likely reacted that way because they saw "Carter" using profanity, and I'm thinking they want Carter to be Kate so it gives them an excuse to justify their drastic invasion of my privacy, as they are major homophobes. But, I'm not completely sure. I feel so violated for what they did :icon_sad: I would lock my phone, but it's a cheap one that won't let you lock it. I'm also afraid that if I keep saying no, they will think Carter really is Kate, which is the truth. Why else would I refuse to let them meet him? :icon_sad:
     
    #4 Shinedown, Feb 23, 2015
  5. whattodoii

    whattodoii
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    because it's just a friend and 'he's' not like that all the time? I mean, I would do that even if 'he' wasn't a/my girlfriend... because it's just ridiculous of them...
     
    #5 whattodoii, Feb 23, 2015
  6. lyjo

    lyjo
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    Well if you take the story of the nickname, then one of your friends could help you. And if your parents already met him, they'll know that he's actually a nice guy. How about this: you talk to one of your close friends, tell him everything, ask if he'll help you out. Then if your oarents ever mention Carter again, you can say that Carter is actually Tim (or whatever his name is). Then they'll ask you why you called him Carter, and you can explain an invented inside joke with Tim. It's a bit messed up, but they should get over it, "teenagers!" :grin:

    Please be very careful. I don't know how overprotective your parents are, but don't get Tim into trouble. And don't get yourself into trouble either. And make sure your friend is loyal and a good actor. :wink:

    Try waiting for your parents to forget, but have things ready in case they get mad and want to know who Carter is straight away. The longer you deny it, the more they'll insist and think it's Kate...

    Also, stop forgetting your phone, and put a code on it :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #6 lyjo, Feb 23, 2015
  7. turtlemom

    turtlemom
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    Can someone see texts that are erased? I would erase all texts from now on thats number one. I dont know how your parents suspect that you and Kate are more than friends but whatever the reasons you need to change things around fast. Maybe start inviting another friend along with you and Kate instead of just Kate, it may be difficut but you have to do something. Also it might be wise to start befriending more guys and do more with a mixed group ( guys and gals). For ex: if you have invited Kate over to hang out or do himework with thats fine but from now on maybe you could invite Kate and one or two other friends like two times in a row then one time with just Kate, just mix things up more. Or just keep Kate away from your house for good and only meet up somewhere else. Start inviting just friends over.
     
    #7 turtlemom, Feb 23, 2015
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