I KISSED MY STRAIGHT BEST FRIEND - what do I do?

Hi! This is only my second post here, so please bare with me.

I'm 17 and my best friend (who's a straight guy) is also 17. My mum (who does not know I'm bi) said I could invite two friends down to our "summer" house/apartment down in Myrtle Beach, SC for the weekend. I invited my best friend (let's call him Jason- not his real name) and another close friend who is a girl. I have a really big crush on Jason, he is soooo cute.

So the Friday before we were meant to go, we were both invited to a party at a close friend's house. Jason knows I'm bi and is absolutely fine with it, so we went to this party and some brought booze and both of us got pretty wasted (please do not judge). Jason has always dated and had sex with girls and he says he is definately straight. Jason and I sat down on a couch and then about six of us began to play truth or dare and Jason was dared to kiss me for 10 seconds, he did but he seemed to enjoy it (and I enjoyed it too) and we French kissed and made out for about 2 minutes. It was like heaven :eusa_danc But the next day he couldn't remember any of it

Fast-forward to this Friday just gone, we left school and walked back to my house and got in the car and we drove down to Myrtle Beach and arrived at about 8 in the evening. Jason and I shared a room and the girl (let's called her Maria) got the spare room on the other side of the floor (my mums room is downstairs). So we both went to bed, the next day Jason just seemed really relaxed and just stripped down to his boxers (which turns me on) so I think he is very comfortable around me, but I caught him staring at me a couple of times. That night I asked Jason if I could give him a massage and he said yes and I could tell he liked it and so did I. Then all of a sudden I just had the urge to kiss him, I did and he walked out of the room :bang: What an idiot I was, so I cried myself to sleep when I feel Jason getting into bed with me (there are two double beds in my room and Jason had his own bed) and he slept with me all night, spooning me. The next morning, he woke up before me and didn't talk to me, but he kept staring at me, looked away when I caught him and blushed.

We got back to Charlotte and I texted him, asking whether he wanted to come over but he didn't reply to my texts. Today at school he is avoiding me in the corridors but he keeps staring at me throughout class and looks away and blushes when I look over at him.

I'm really not sure if he likes me like I like him. If he does why is he avoiding me? If he does not like me why does he keep staring over at me, looking away and blushing when I look at him? What do I do now? Do I talk to him?

---------- Post added 23rd Feb 2015 at 08:01 PM ----------

Sorry I completely messed up the title, I was trying to think of a good title and came up with what I made as the actual title. But it is actually the other way round, as I describe in the post, the title should be- I KISSED MY STRAIGHT BEST FRIEND

Sorry about that.

 

I was walking back from school, I saw Jason walking on the opposite side of the road, he looks as though he has been crying, his face is all puffy, his eyes are red. I want to go and comfort him but he tells me to leave him alone. I get home and I get a text from him "I really need to talk to you" Idk what to do. I've texted him back, ok. What should I do next?

 

I got to school today and Maria comes up to me, saying that's Jason has been acting all weird and that, I, as his best friend should go and talk to him. So with Maria watching me, I felt as though I had to go over to him. btw we were all in the cafeteria. so I start walking over to him. and he looks up at me with a "heart skipped a beat, seeing someone you fancy" sorta face. But as soon as he realised I was coming to sit with him, he got up and walked away. So Maria runs after Jason, comes back to me and says "he wants to be alone".

I text Jason, saying "I don't want to ruin our friendship, you wanna come over to Maria's with me after school?!" Yes I know, I should of given him space and let him come to me, but I felt bad and just had to text him. So about 10/15 mins later, Jason then texted back "Yeah, but can I come to yours first" (!) So now I'm in my final class for today and Jason will be coming to mine, so I think it's a step in the right direction.

I'll update you all later.

 

So it's about 2:00 in the morning here in Charlotte, but I thought I would update you all...

I finished school yesterday, walked home and at about 3:30 Jason came round to mind as we agree, we were going to go to Maria's and then go into Uptown Charlotte. I tried to play it cool and asked if he wanted to come up and played video games and he said sure!

So I tried just being the best friend I always have been, not mentioning anything about the kiss, and just talk like we always did! So we were just finishing up the game, when Jason holds my hand and then kisses me. :eek: :icon_bigg Before completely freaking out: "I can't be gay, but I love you so much!" "We live in the Bible Belt" "My parents would kill me" "What would other people say" "What will people at school think" Thank God my Mom wasn't home as she would want to know what all the fuss was about. Then he says "I love you so much, but what can I do?" By this time Maria was honking her car horn outside and Jason runs down the stairs, straight into Maria's car. So I called her, saying "Just be there for Jason, don't ask too many question like "What's wrong?" just talk to him like his best friend normally would (btw the three of us are the bestest of best friend ) and I might be over later.

I get a call from Maria about 7pm, saying I should come over and that Jason had been crying (which he rarely does) and muttering my name. So I get to Maria's at about 7:30 and Jason runs upto me and gives me a massive hug. Maria is like wtf, so Jason begins to fill her in, evening saying that he remember the French kiss at the party and that he enjoyed it, he loved it when I kissed him, he didn't really find girls sexually attractive but only romantically attractive but has found me both and that he sorta fancies other guys in our grade but loves me the most But he says he has been confused since the beginning of last semester, but then he kept going on about "I love you (to me) but I can't be gay" "I'm so confused" So we left it for the night and go into Uptown Charlotte like we have done in the past, then Jason asked he could sleep over at mine and now he is sleeping next to me, spooning me like he did down in Myrtle Beach.

So yesterday was a big day of revelation for the three of us and I think it is going in the right direction, A LOT faster than what I thought they would and expected they would. I'll update you all when there is news.