1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Could this guy have any romantic interest in me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by sethmachine, Feb 23, 2015.

  1. sethmachine

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hi everyone,

    I'm looking for some advice on this guy I've met a few times. I like him a lot, but I'm not really sure if that's reciprocated or he may just shy / nervous / has low self-esteem.

    For context here is some information about me and this fellow, call him A. To be completely clear, we are both openly gay, and we met through a dating site.

    sethmachine: 22 years old, recent college graduate, now full time working professional. lives by himself, has a car, great job and good income (~$80,000 gross). No musical ability, never drinks / does recreational drugs. Has been over 2 years since he's been in a relationship or dated.

    A: 26 years old, did not finish college, unemployed, lives at parents house. Artistic / musical, may be a recreational drug user, and does drink.

    We've known each other since January. Below I've described the nature of our meetings so far.

    (1) The first time we met, things went pretty well--we talked for several hours in a cafe. As it got late, I wanted to do something with him, so we went and watched a movie on Netflix. I wanted to cuddle with him. I didn't make any physical contact, as he didn't show any positive signs. I believe this weirded him out a lot, because I didn't hear from him again until 2 weeks later.

    (2) 2 weeks later, A contacts me and we meet again, similar to (1). We were initially going to meet up on Valentine's day (A had offered this a possible day to meet) but the weather didn't allow for it. Instead, we later meet at a cafe, and to my surprise at the end of our talk, A asks to meet up on the coming weekend again.

    (3) I offered to invite A to my place for dinner, but A did not respond to this at all. Instead, A suggested we go to a show together, but this whole plan fell through, as there wasn't really any planning involved. Instead, we met up briefly and talked again at a cafe.

    What has made everything really difficult is that A's response time to my texts is usually 24-48 hours--texting is our only form of communication. This makes it difficult to plan stuff, and also means I text him very sparingly--in fact only to make plans for meeting.

    I've been getting a lot of anxiety over this, and so I'm thinking the best course of action is just to wait a week or two before making contact again, or until A does.

    What I am dying to know is whether A has any interest, or if from what I've described A has made it clear our relationship will just stay platonic.
     
  2. PalestrinaMX

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2013
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota, USA
    I think that you've gotten to the point where you can ask him about his delayed responses. Maybe he feels the same way you do.
     
  3. robclem21

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2011
    Messages:
    724
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario
    Honest and openness is the best policy in any sort of relationship. In my opinion anyways. I hate getting into these games of passive-aggressiveness where everyone is unhappy and nobody wins. Talk to him about it and if its not meant to be, get ready to accept that. If he apologizes, then work on it and move forward.
     
  4. Have you considered that he might already be in a relationship?