I have been chatting with a guy who lives about two hours away from me. We have become quite close in the span of a week and now he asked me when I wanted to come and visit him. I told him he should decide on a weekend, telling him to take a few days to think about it. We discussed first kisses, and from that I told him that I never had mine with a guy. That led to him stating that I was cute and me saying that if it came to that, he should decide when and if to initiate one as I would not know the appropriate time to do so. He has had a boyfriend for six months so he does have more experience with stuff like this than me. He is in his early twenties so I do not wish to force myself on him, making him do things that he will not be okay with. I do not have any expectations about sex or stuff like that, I really like him and would like to keep things slow so I can get to know him better. Thus I leave most decisions to him. Is my way of thinking wrong? Can anyone give me some pointers on what to expect from a first date? How to treat the situation if he does decide to kiss me? I really have no idea how to kiss, or what to expect even. How long would it be appropriate to wait before meeting in person?
Well, I think that, if you're both adults, it's perfectly fine to decide to meet after a week or two. Provided a few common measures of protection: - You should have at least talked a few times on the phone or over video. Helps in getting the right "feel" for a guy. - Meeting does best happen in a neutral place, where one or both have the opportunity to call it a day if they don't feel entirely safe. - You inform someone of where you'll be. But with those precautions: sure! Go for it! As for what to expect from a first date: there's no real hard and fast rules about it. Mainly just hanging out, talking about whatever you like talking about online. My first date, I really just continued where we left off the day before on skype. I won't lie, there is a difference between online and offline. Offline, there is this other person just right in front of you! So it might happen that there's an occasional silence where you're just staring at each other. But that's perfectly normal too. Stare for two seconds, and pick the conversation up where you left off. Kissing... Me and my date had talked it over beforehand too, and had agreed to give each other due warning. Also, that there would be no hard feelings if the other decided that it would have to wait for the next time. Something like "is it OK if I kiss you?" can work perfectly for that. (seriously... I love saying that, even when it's not strictly needed...) One of you says it, waits for two or three seconds for sign of approval or disapproval, and then leans in if the all clear is given. Also: I am a fan of at least holding a hand before kissing. It's a slightly less imposing first physical contact, and gives you an idea about whether or not you want to go further. Finally, about kissing itself: I wasn't too sure about it either. But it turns out I just knew what to do. Almost as if it was a program laying dormant until just the time I needed it. And most people I talked about it had the same impression. Hugely unsatisfying answer, I know. Above all: discussing this is good. First couple of times, I think I spent longer talking to my BF about kissing and having sex than we ever spent actually kissing and having sex :lol: But the benefit there is that you can go slow, discuss next boundaries, and explore them both at your own pace.
We have been video/voice chatting about eight hours a day for the past week. I think I have a pretty good feeling about him. People here are not really that dangerous but we will meet in a public place just in case he wants to break it off if he does not like me when he sees me in person. Things are going well, too well in fact. I am just afraid that he might not like me in person. Aside from that there is pretty much nothing else I am worried about at this point in time. Even the kissing part I think I can manage, as long as he does feel as strong in person, as he does online. I am trying to give him some space so as to avoid him getting tired of me, and will ask him this Sunday what he decided about meeting up. I guess I will improvise after meeting up, just as long as everything goes alright. Will not even push for a kiss, so as to not appear that that is all I am after.
