1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I Told a straight guy i liked him but nothing changed...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Unrequited1ove, Feb 26, 2015.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Unrequited1ove

    Unrequited1ove
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    atlanta
    Gender:
    Male
    So my bestfriend now knows i like him, but he told me that he couldnt see himself with a another man but also added you never know though one day i might wake up and just be gay
    now keep in mind he has a girlfriend still flirts with me after knowing even sent me a snapchat video randomly of him fresh out the shower butt ass naked
    then this morning ran out the shower with nothing but a towel covering his meat ass all out and soapy while holding the towel tightly over his dick showing his print
    he tells me he isnt gay and that he likes his girlfriend(which is so up and down, he has almost broken up with her 5 times now lol) but i cant help but feel like if we were in a better place and he wasnt so insecure he would actually go thru with it
    he never admits it but he always puts me over his girlfriend even after saying he would stop and put her first now i dont demand that he does he just does it then when i say it he denies it, i really liek him and i told him to me he is the sexiest dude at our school and that ive seen in a long time, he just replied "you play to much" because he thinks im just saying things to make him feel better but its true then i broke it down to him like "why do you think i like you, out of all the dudes at this school i choose you" he replies "i didnt know that, i knew i wasnt ugly but not this attractive" the fact that i like him didnt change a thing! and i just dont know why, he flirts but never acts

    anyone have any insight on this?
     
    #1 Unrequited1ove, Feb 26, 2015
  2. mlansing

    mlansing
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2014
    Messages:
    467
    Likes Received:
    131
    Gender:
    Male
    He's playing games with you. He likes the attention that you give him. I'm not saying he doesn't like you too, but you're not going to find out if he does by always hanging around and fawning over him. I would say try withdrawing some and hanging out with other people. I know from firsthand experience how much it sucks letting go of someone you like but you have to like yourself more in this kind of situation and try to distance yourself. Hanging on to people in relationships is a dead-end, no matter how shitty the relationship might be. Just remember that despite what he says, as long as he's still in this relationship he's essentially communicating to you that you are not a priority in his life right now.

    ---------- Post added 26th Feb 2015 at 10:54 PM ----------

    On the other hand if you want to stay friends with him then do so without any expectation of things getting romantic between you two.
     
    #2 mlansing, Feb 26, 2015
  3. Unrequited1ove

    Unrequited1ove
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    atlanta
    Gender:
    Male
    Now were at a good place right now, but me and his girlfriend arent...
    im gonna try and explain me and his relationship the best i can lol
    So im 17 and i met this guy named JT, JT is 16 and from california extremely handsome kid and a beautiful personality to match we met in about september of 2014 and we almost instantly became "bestfriends"
    from september till now he has had 2 girlfriends whom he has had sex with on numerous occasions now while he was with the first girlfriend i started noticing how he was joking and playing with me seemed a lil odd, i'm not out but people do often think im gay i have a "gay face" so ive been told, he is aware of the rumors as he has been asked why he hangs out with a gay kid which i have always denied but i always knew
    even with him knowing i could be gay he still makes aggresive gay "jokes" nothing like "haha your a fag" but like coming and tackling me and humping me and things like that
    even told me when i asked why in his relationship he wont go after who can make him happy, he replies " i dont know bro you cant provide me pussy so ill just be single"
    i asked are you saying if i was a girl it would be me" he replies with "lmaooo bro lets tallk about this later" and changes the subject... a couple weeks later he breaks up with girlfriend #1 which lasted from september till november , now that he is single i notice the "jokes" (which i will call flirting) got even more aggresive to where it was physical touching and things of that nature, like we were fighting one day while i was drunk and he licked my neck and then smiled but i walked away and stopped fighting lol
    has joked about us getting married and me buying him a ring and shit
    i even said " i registered us at tiffany's" he had no idea what that was lol so i explained and he laughs and goes "were so gay" (typical skater looking kid just with a pretty face and very clean ways)
    fast forward to january he meets this girl who i originally was trying to date and him and her hit it off (i wasnt mad, nor did i think it was dirty for him to talk to her because i lost interest so quickly in her lol)
    but anyway he is now with this new chick whom hates us hanging out and would rather me and him not be friends (to the pits with her opinions)
    he told me he had a wet dream about me giving him oral and he said he woke up with his underwear filled with jizz wondering why he felt like this...
    and i told him i liked him! he thinks im joking and jokingly replys "i was single for 2 months you had your chance" then smiles we dont talk about it until a couple weeks later at waffle house and thats when i explain the depth of the crush
    he laughs and says " you lied you told me you only liked me for a day" he was really concerned about the fact that i lied lol
    then i tell him not to laugh at me and he says "no im not laughing at you its just funny that you lied" then pauses and says "im glad you told me were gonna have a great future"
    now i will admit the "jokes" or flirting if you will did decrease but they are now more aggressive then before like i explained in the paragraph above he sent me a video of him naked, came out the shower covered and soap showing off his print and baring nothing but ass lol
    now he has invited me to the movies with his family which isnt out of the ordinary because he takes me everywhere with them, like to red lobster,waffle house, family gatherings , etc
    so im excited for that and ofc i will keep updating this story if we get better or worse


    but right now im just trying to see if im crazy for feeling like this or has he giving me good reasoning , or do you guys even feel liek he feels the same??

    ---------- Post added 26th Feb 2015 at 08:07 PM ----------
    i did think that could be the case, but everytime i say im not gonna be played or whatever he reels me back in with his sweet nothings or "mind-games" which he plays so well
     
    #3 Unrequited1ove, Feb 26, 2015
  4. mlansing

    mlansing
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2014
    Messages:
    467
    Likes Received:
    131
    Gender:
    Male
    Right...sweet nothings and mind games are all they are and all they're going to be. If you say you're not going to be played then walk the walk, don't just talk the talk. You've already opened up to him and told him that you like him, and if he likes you too then what's stopping him? For your own sanity I recommend distancing yourself. Good luck.
     
    #4 mlansing, Feb 26, 2015
  5. Unrequited1ove

    Unrequited1ove
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    atlanta
    Gender:
    Male
    well he is extremely insecure, & cares way to much what people think... some may say people like that are not worth it but i dont think so , i mean come on just cause your insecure doesnt mean love should not be giving to you am i right?
    but anyway he cares way to much what people think, just going by things that he told me that he has done in his childhood or that have happened i can tell he is just scared to admit it to himself, and as stupid or pointless as it may sounds im willing to wait even if thta means i need to distant my self from him for the time being which im actually gonna do, i know she wont be around for ever and i know that if were meant to be together it will fall into place, so ill just hope for the best and wait
     
    #5 Unrequited1ove, Feb 26, 2015
  6. mlansing

    mlansing
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2014
    Messages:
    467
    Likes Received:
    131
    Gender:
    Male
    I certainly understand the insecurity thing, and it's hard to admit you're gay and all that. Again, if you want to be his friend that's perfectly fine, just so long as you're not holding out hope and living on a prayer for something that likely will not materialize. I hate to be harsh but I've been in your exact same shoes and it did not end well.
     
    #6 mlansing, Feb 26, 2015
  7. Unrequited1ove

    Unrequited1ove
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    atlanta
    Gender:
    Male
    if im not being to foward could you tell your story in full detail lol, i like to read peoples stories who situations are like mine so i can know that not ever outcome is the same ya know?
    though i am definantly hoping and praying it works out, id like to say i know deep down it wont work but right in the same place i feel it will work out
    my mind is shit lol i sit all day and over think shit, & imagine shit which just causes shit lol

    i just find it hard to believe that i have been misreading all these signs, like he has been thru the same stuff as me, he even gets called gay and is told he has a gay face but i dont think his face is gay , says when he was little he did that broken wrist thing girls do but grew out of it , i even did it and grew out of it aswell
    things like that always made me know i was gay and my attractions to guys, even thought he was gay in middle school, not sure if he still does or what made him get over it
     
    #7 Unrequited1ove, Feb 26, 2015
  8. mlansing

    mlansing
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2014
    Messages:
    467
    Likes Received:
    131
    Gender:
    Male
    Sure, no worries. Basically, I fell madly in love with a guy I lived with for a year. There were all kinds of signs that he was into me too, but neither of us said anything and we were both closeted anyways. I tried to open up by saying that I may be bisexual and asked if he was too but he denied that he was. He started dating a girl that was a mutual friend of ours, and after they started dating I tried to give them space but he still wanted me around. At the time I thought it was weird that he would still want me around, but I figured it was fun hanging out so I was like fuck it. The only thing that sucked was that I still had feelings for him and I was just being treated like a third wheel.

    A year later I moved to another country with the intention of moving back in a year's time. I didn't really want to go back to that love triangle, though, so I told both of them that I might not move back after all. He must have freaked out because he shortly thereafter sent me a facebook message saying he loved me. I knew she would read it because she often logged into his account so I gave a neutral response to try to calm the situation down. She ended up reading it and started becoming extremely controlling of me, and he ended up not even breaking up with her.

    I did eventually move back and they were both trying to hang out with me again like nothing had changed and everything was great. I said fuck this and stopped hanging out with both of them. They're still together to this day.

    Now obviously your guy is a completely different person, but the guy I was into was also massively insecure. It does sound like this guy is into you from what you've described, but that may not be enough for him to face his fears of coming out. Meanwhile, you're putting your life on hold hoping that he figures things out. DON'T DO IT! And besides, as evidenced by my situation, he eventually did expose his feelings for me precisely because I had distanced myself and tried to move on with my life. Just be smart.
     
    #8 mlansing, Feb 26, 2015
  9. TwoWays

    TwoWays
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2015
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charlotte
    Gender:
    Male
    I do think he is playing games with you, which is very annoying. Trust me, I know. It'll be a vicious circle between you, he'll get your hopes up, then probably let you down. But don't ruin the friendship between you, I tried playing cool around my best friend, he was the one to start everything (talking about it) and now he's my boyfriend.

    So my advice to you, just take it slow, be the bestfriend you always have been, and see if he initiates anything between you. Good luck! :slight_smile:
     
    #9 TwoWays, Feb 26, 2015
  10. dmarc92

    dmarc92
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2014
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    What a lot of people forget is their own needs. Just like he deserves love, so do you. I was in a similar situation except he never really was sexual like that, we just kissed like twice and he was openly bi with ME but NEVER would tell anyone else. And he is undeniably the love of my little teenage life (haha) but I can say that I'm more over him than I have been in the past 4 years of loving him and its all because I told him straight up, that I loved him and I wanted to be with him but deep down I knew he didn't want to be with me. And he tried to comfort my feelings, i guess, by saying it was just that he didnt want to hurt me, I wasn't right for him, he's not ready to date blah blah blah. And even though it stung a little, it made our relationship much better. I still hoped for the day he proclaims his love for me to come but after that talk I felt that if it was meant to happen it would and it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
    THAT SAID, he's still my friend (used to be best friend but our lives went in seperate directions) which isn't so bad, because if he needs me I'm here, and I still love him but I'm not obsessed or hooked. And I'm now talking to this great guy who I hope likes me as much as I like him. So I'm moving on, all because I wanted to. For my own sake.
    So what I'm trying to say is, sit him down. Tell him you think he might have feelings for you and the same feelings you have for him. But because of his girlfriend and maybe other things you know you can't be together. But you want him to know so that YOU can move on and not obsess over him all the time because you deserve someone who likes you just as much. If he feels the same he might just try being with you, he might not. You can't force him to come to terms with his feelings whether he has any for you or not. All you can to is be clear and honest and live your life knowing you did everything you could.

    Sorry for the whole speech.(haha) I hope I helped in some way. ^.^

    ---------- Post added 27th Feb 2015 at 06:48 PM ----------

    Also you should mention that the "flirting" or "sexual gestures" are really confusing and kind of torturing you in an emotional way.
     
    #10 dmarc92, Feb 27, 2015
  11. Unrequited1ove

    Unrequited1ove
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    atlanta
    Gender:
    Male
    You helped I just wanna know how can iIask him knowing he has a ggirlfriend he knows how I feel so now how can I knowhow he feels wwithout my over thinking mind saying he likes you which of course is not good lol, I am normally right about someone when I take a guess
     
    #11 Unrequited1ove, Feb 28, 2015
  12. Beautiful Mount

    Beautiful Mount
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2015
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Asking him straight up, is not the best idea as it could cause him to be angry. Try and confirm if he is gay or not, without him even coming out himself. Try and bring an LGBT subject up and try and get his views on it, if he is gay or bi, he might have some signs, like his voice going quieter or him being a little shifty when he talks, try and not make it too personal or it might Make him uncomfortable, just let it flow into a good conversation, if your suspicions have been confirmed, try and maybe ask him if he has ever considered going out with someone of the same sex? And ask him would you ever consider going out with me? If all goes well, ask him. But if you know these questions will make him uncomfortable, don't ask them.
     
    #12 Beautiful Mount, Feb 28, 2015
  13. Unrequited1ove

    Unrequited1ove
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    atlanta
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm so confused on life part of me is saying move on, then part of me is saying don't do it just wait it out
     
    #13 Unrequited1ove, Mar 3, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)