yesturday i found out that my friend was in hospital for attempted suicide. This is really painful nd i cant even show any emotion, cause i am just always emotionally numb. Anyway, the point is that she has been through soo much these last few years nd with a bad family history growing up so i guess all that had built up cz she is also not one to talk about her problems. This is the first time that i hv experienced this nd i feel so helpless but at the same time i want to be able to be there for her and encourage her. I feel so helpless. i also feel bad that i am not even crying and i still want to go to pride (would be my 1st time) because that was the plan before i heard the news. i also hv my other friends birthday tomorrow and i dnt know if i should go. it all makes me feel like a horrible person that i would still want to go have fun while my close friend is hurting. This is all just so numbing:icon_sad: