Well I've been in love with my best friend for a long time and one of my other friends told me that I wasn't even though it's true and she doesn't understand. I feel like nobody does. It would just be easier to move on but I can't seem to do it. I'm physically sick because of it and it's just so difficult and I need help but my friends just aren't there for me or don't know I'm in love with another girl. It's just awful. I don't know what to do anymore.
I recently found myself in a similar situation to you. I developed a big crush on a straight guy I worked with at my job. We didn't know each other for very long, only a few months, and never met up outside of work. He was nice, good looking, and we could talk about almost anything under the sun. We got along really well. It eventually got pretty hard to work with him. When I finally decided to come out to him to see how he'd react I found out he got himself another job somewhere else and left the store. It's probably for the better since not being around him will make it easier to move on. Does this girl know that you're bisexual and that you're attracted to her. A friend of mine gave me some good advice (my friend is bi): usually if you tell someone your sexuality they'll tell you theirs. If you feel that it's safe for her to know your sexuality then you probably should tell her, that way it's out in the open between the two of you and you can start to sort things out. If she tells you that she's totally straight, then you'll know that you need to let it go because she won't be able to return those feelings you have for her. Try to put some distance between you and her. Start doing things without her company. If you're not around her too often then it will be easier to move on. Hope this helps!
She does know about my sexuality but has never talked about it. Distance is so hard considering she was my best friend before any of this happened. I know for a fact that she is not "totally straight". She's the type of girl that you want to spend your entire life with and I'm so passionate about her and our friendship.
I've had a crush on my friend, I wouldn't say I was in love though. I found out he was trans, and still liked him, but then later realized that he might also be gay. I figured our friendship was more important than a crush, I would worry if I were to hurt his feelings avoiding him, he's super cool and I'm happy I have such a great friend, he's awesome and I would hate to lose his friendship. The way I see it is if the person you're going to have a relationship some time down the road isn't her it's still going to be someone you're madly in love with. It's going to be a lot better than harboring feelings for a straight girl or forcing a relationship with someone who just isn't feeling it. If it isn't her you have to remember that it's someone and that you won't be alone, these are present feelings, feelings that likely won't mean anything or affect you in a few years.
Well. To avoid being hurt too bad, assure yourself that it's not anything you did. It doesn't really completely take away the hurt, but it helps knowing that you didn't do anything to destroy a possible relationship. Keep your head up. Things will get better.
Painful! I remember when I had a crush on someone from a church camp I used to go to. I am sorry to hear your friends don't understand what you're going through. Only you know what you're feeling at a given time. For me, the best way to get over a person is not to put too much pressure on yourself if this is the first time you're getting over someone you really, really liked. Spend time with good friends, this can also mean you may have to introduce yourself to new potential friends. Give yourself the time and space you need in order to heal. Some things that help for me was exercising, having a few friends/acquaintances over for a movie, guided meditations online were helpful.... I would have to say being around lots of great people were helpful to me. I had started a job around another time something didn't work out between me and someone I liked. I went for walks, bike rides, went on little adventures, went to see live music, wandered in book stores, took a cooking class. Keeping busy worked for me because I brooded less. There was not much to reflect on in situations where someone was not interested in me, it's pretty simple despite all the pain and hurt. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to cry, it's okay to talk to people, it's okay to get out there.
and do some really positive things to take care of yourself. set some personal goals, and particularly include some health and fitness goals in there. remind yourself every day that you deserve to be treated well, and that your body deserves it as well. don't forget to say thank you every day for all the good in your life, all the good things and all the good people. letting go of hurts and people is hard, but it takes time. fill that time with good things. good luck!
Oh yeah, yes, the straight girl crush! I'm experiencing one right now. However, it's not my best friend. I liked my best friend once for just a few months, and it just went away. The point that she is my best friend, kind of ruined the fact for a romantic future. I didn't want the friendship to end. This was just how I thought before, when I was more confused then I am now (I can't completely say that I have everything handled). Just right now, try to take your mind off of her. I'm not going to say it will be easy, because it might not be the easiest thing to do. I actually went on somewhere high, like a balcony or somewhere private and screamed out loud that I liked that person. After that, it got easier because I screamed out all my feelings!~ Maybe my insane ways will help you. <3 Best of luck
