So my ex broke up with me a week ago. He always struggled with our relationship because of his anxiety and being in the closet. He is 23 and i was the first person he had ever dated, kissed...etc.. the whole relationship wasn't bad. We had a lot of good times together. But, I was always counseling him about the whole gay thing and ultimately in the end he broke it off with me because he said he wasn't ready for a relationship/ didn't have those feelings for me. I want him back more than anything...but last night he said some messed up stuff. He was at a wedding and his co workers tried to set him up with a girl. He told me he doesn't like girls but that maybe he should just date her and be nice and make things easier on himself. It just worries me how much he struggles and his thinking yesterday was so backwards compared to the strides he has made (two steps back kind of thing). Would it be wrong of me to suggest to him that he needs some kind of counseling or therapy) i just think it would help him a lot. I dont have all teh answers for him!
I don't think that it would be wrong of you to suggest having him talk to someone who might be able to help him. But I think it also depends on your current relationship. If things have broken off, normally it is a good idea to take some space and time. Even if you are looking to still be friends and talk on a regular basis. It is unfortunate that he is struggling, but there are just some things that you can't help with, you know? He has to figure it out on his own, and if he's not ready to face things or is making a poor decision, that's on him and not on you, even if you care more than anything in the world. I'm sorry you have to sit and watch it happen or that you are hurting from a break up. I really hope things improve. I know you're worrying and worrying is awful. Please give yourself some time and space if you need it, and consider offering advice after that. I don't think a week is enough to let your feelings settle, you know? Take care of yourself. <3
Your ex is the only person who can decide when and if he is ready to deal with this. As tough as it is to let someone you love make their own mistakes it is really important to respect that. If he broke up with you, then right now the most important thing you can do is look after your own well-being. You can be there to listen and help if he asks for it. As hard as it is, respect the space he has asked for. You are right that he probably needs help. He needs help but he has to be ready to accept that help before it will do any good. I am sorry. I know what this feels like. It hurts so bad watching someone put themselves through this kind of pain. Please be strong and get some support for yourself from friends and family if you can to get you through this difficult time.
Thanks guys. We are hanging out tomorrow, for the first time since the break up, as friends. But, he still is flirty through text message...I haven't brought up getting back together since the first week of the break up and have been doing my own thing. I just get so confused because sometimes he seems to be making passes at me with winky faces and such. So, he asked me tonight if it was going to be okay us hanging out.. i said i just wanted to see him. he said he just doesnt want to cause any damage or undo any progress made... it is like one minute he gets caught up in how things used to be and the next he puts up a shield. Idk...its all confusing to me. I am afraid of how tomorrow will go, mostly my own actions and feelings of not being able to kiss him or just be affectionate.
It's good to hear that you've been doing your own thing. Hopefully that when you meet up, it can be a civil and clearing discussion. I am sure that he is going through some of the same things that you are. Everyone has their hangups in a breakup. Just remember that there is a reason that you broke up and try to keep yourself cool with that. It can get emotional and definitely tense in meeting up, especially with mixed signals. I wish you luck! I hope that it is beneficial for both of you and perhaps will give some closure rather than complicate things.
No, we just played Mario Kart and Super Smash Brothers all night. We didn't talk about anything serious. But, he still seems flirty, even through text. I want to give it another try one day. I wonder if he would ever do the same thing. I don't know. I have been through break ups before and somethings different about this one...
