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Unsupportive mother

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by cloudcity, Mar 1, 2015.

  1. cloudcity

    cloudcity Guest

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    I'm Alex and I'm a trans*guy, but no one knows. And for all of you other trans*guys, you know how hard it is when you can't cut your hair. As of right now, I live with my parents because I'm not 18, and desperately need to cut my hair. It's past the bottom of my rib cage and I can't stand it. I shop in the men's section at stores and my mom doesn't care for that. She constantly says," So we're just gonna shop in the men's now?" I've said I want to cut my hair a lot to her and she agreed, just told me to pick a style. In Target today, I saw a guy with really nice hair and told her I want my hair like that. And in the store with people around us, she says," Damn it Grace! I'm never gonna have a real girl (my sister is a lesbian)!" I'm sick of it because she constantly ridicules me for what I wear and how I act. Should I just cut it without her knowing? Should I leave my hair untouched even though it'd kill me? What else should I do because I've tried? :help:
     
  2. Meatballs

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    How about agreeing to a compromise with your mother, like a girlish but still very short hairstyle?
     
  3. shota

    shota Guest

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    dude trust me you should not cut your hair yourself it's a bad idea trust me your talking to a transgender male that give him self a pretty fck up hair do please secretly visit a place that cuts hair
     
  4. GrumpyOldLady

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    Did she actually forbid you from cutting your hair in that style, or shopping in the men's section, or is she just making snarky remarks? Sometimes parents say things in jest that come out worse than really intended.

    My kid thinks I'm an evil queen, but honestly I'm not that bad. Sometimes I just forget that she takes my words at face value.

    How does your mom feel about your sister being a lesbian? Is she mostly OK with it, or is she really against it? If she seems mostly OK with it, she might just be using sarcasm with you, and you can probably ignore it.
     
  5. jAYMEGURL

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    Dear Grace, (or is it Alex ) :


    You're 16 yrs old. enjoy your teenage years. But, you are old enough to decide which
    sexuality you want to be, I think. If you really want to cut your hair, DAMN IT!!!! do it, don't just bitch about doing it, doing that will just drive you crazy. You say you're gay,
    this lifestyle is not just some fantasy to be modeled after, they're are no real friends to
    speak of. Life was supposed to be easy, and one of life's benefits was supposed to include friends. I've got news for you, watch your back, because that popular saying " life has your back " is a bunch of B***s****.


    Jaymegurl
     
  6. Really

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    Find a unisex salon that will cut your hair and donate it for making wigs for cancer patients. She'd have a pretty hard time arguing with that. While you're there, show them a picture of what you want. If they say it's not a girl's style just say, "Yeah. I know. I want it like that." They shouldn't have a problem with that. If your mom complains, tell her that hair grows back. Not that you have to but hopefully she should calm down.
     
  7. Sporkstress

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    Its funny how other people become attached towards YOUR hair. I say this from my experiences - I have hair past my butt and any time I toy with the idea of cutting my hair, my family freaks out. So, I think, ultimately it is your decision. Its your hair, and hair grows back anyways.

    I agree with donating your hair - there's not much your Mom can argue with there. I can understand you feeling hesitant when you feel like your Mom is being unsupportive, but keep in mind that at the end of the day, its your hair, and your life! I think loving yourself and being comfortable in your own skin comes before pleasing others and what your Mom may want or "expect" from you. I know, however, that sometimes these things are easier said than done. I wish you good luck with it all!
     
  8. fragileflame

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    Like said before, I think you should donate your hair. That would probably make your mom more comfortable with it. And you would be doing something good for someone else while becoming more comfortable in you own skin. With the shopping in the boys section, my mom says the same thing. I've started going straight to the clearance section of the boys and focusing on the low prices. and we she drags me back to the girls section I focus on the higher prices. I usually end up walking away with something from the boys section. Hope this helps :slight_smile: