So I need advice. Recently I met, by complete chance, a wonderful man that I can honestly see a future with. Within a few days of meeting we told each other that we have feelings for each other. I was actually the first to say it and I was very direct with him and told him that I wasn't playing games. Then yesterday he told me he loves me, I told my friends about it and they said that we are moving to fast. Now my question is do you guy think we are moving to fast? My friends are insisting on going out and hooking up with guys, because I'm a virgin but I just don't like the idea of giving it to just anyone. We would also be each others first if the relationship continues. Do you guys think love at first sight can happen? My friends also think that we are to young to even think about having a future with each other. Now there is another issue, I live in LA and he had to go back to Canada and possibly won't be back until August. Now my friends are saying that our relationship isn't real. What do you guys think? Do you agree with them? I truly believe that what we have is real but their constant comments make me insecure about it, it's kind of like when I talk to him I'm secure about it and when I'm with my friends they put idea into my head that make me question everything. It also doesn't help that I'm inexperienced in the whole gay dating and relationship scene. I hope someone can give me some helpful advice and perspective! ---------- Post added 3rd Mar 2015 at 01:06 AM ---------- Also before I met him I thought love at first sight was a load of bologna, but now I don't know..
Personally I think it might be a little fast indeed to say you're in love with each other. I mean in a few days people can surely develop some level of attraction towards each other, but to say it's full-blown love might require some more time (to see if it's really love, or just a sudden burst of emotions). Get to know each other more, at least that's what I would do. As for your friends, fuck'em. I mean no, not literally. :lol: Don't give in to the hookup-culture. If you want to give your virginity to a man who you really love and who loves you too, then don't let other people's opinion change your mind. Don't think less about yourself for not following the path mindless, anonymous fucking.
How can you love someone after a few days? I see this a lot on this forum. People tell stories of how they met someone and after a few days or a week they are apparently in love with them. Love is a very strong emotion, I think people throw around the word love far too easily.
I'm not too sure if I believe in love at first sight. But, then again, all love did at one point start with a first sight! Though, honestly: "do you believe in love at first sight" or even "is this real love"? is not the main issue, here. The biggest question is: should you pursue things with this guy? And from what you tell, I think you should. No matter what, it seems like you have chemistry going on with this guy. All love started as chemistry. All relationships started as "hanging out a lot". So if this guy has potential, then I think that's what you should do! Hang out (online if not in person). Do stuff together (even if you can't hang out physically, there's fun little projects as reading the same book, watching a movie over skype at the same time, playing videogames, or just talking lots). See if the initial attraction keeps going strong. Don't plan your wedding just yet, and don't go looking for joint rooms in the retirement home already, but finish each date with planning the next one. And your friends.... they probably do mean well. Maybe they had to labor through some disappointments to get the right one. Maybe some of them thought their first was "the one", and then found out he wasn't. And so they want to make sure you're spared a huge disappointment if things don't work out. Also: sex is a lot of hilarious fumbling at first. For some that's a fun memory (big fan of it myself), but for others it apparently becomes something shameful and they insist on experience. If one wants that, I guess hooking up with a lot of people first is a way to get it. But even if they mean well, don't put their opinion before your own. If you feel this is going somewhere, then I think you should explore it. Few people stay with their first BF, but some do, and the only way to know if you're one of them is by going for it!
I was already good friends for more than three years with my first real love... and even then it was essentially just a crush (turned out she didn't feel the same :bang
Sounds very sweet and kind of romantic, I think that you have just fallen for him hard, as other above me have said, it is very hard to fall in love with someone over a couple of days/weeks... It is probably just lust/a strong connection but who am I to tell you how you are feeling lol. I say to just go with it and see how it goes, your friends probably mean well if you are not feeling their advice, don't follow it. Just take it slow and see what happens, you can't get to know someone after a couple of days, in a few weeks you might decide that you don't like him much at all. I would say to just follow your gut and take it slow, I would suggest to not use the "love" word now though.
Well I do think you're going quite fast, but if you really really like him and don't mind suffering the distance when the prize is your potential first (and even maybe last) love, then you should go for it. I'm in a long distance relationship myself with the woman I love and want to marry someday. It's not easy but it's worth every second. We get to see each other a week or two every one or two months and planning on moving on together next year. Please don't be pressured by your friends to hook up. I also chose to save myself to someone I really loved and loves me back and I chose right! I couldn't be prouder of saying I only had sexual intercourse with whom I believe is the love of my life. It's worth the wait, my friend.
You can be in a relationship for 2 months and feel everything, just like you can be in a relationship for 2 years and feel nothing. You and him are the only people who have a right to say if you're moving to fast. Love doesn't give 2 shits if it's too soon. There's no time limit on how long it takes to fall for someone.
