Now this is gonna be very long but please read and comment. Hi, I'm new here and I need someone to talk to since I have nobody. I'm a young woman who's still not sure of her sexuality but I'm still currenty in a very happy relationship with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. We started out as friends, texting and skyping mostly since she lives 800 miles away from me. I knew she was bi from the moment we met, and when she got over her breakup with her past girlfriend (who was also kind of a friend of mine) she started flirting with me. She wasn't the only friend I had who put the moves on me but she was certainly the only one I responded to. By then I only knew I kinda liked women but I labeled myself as just bicurious. She helped me a lot with my sexuality and other issues and I helped her a lot too. We became very close and I shared things with her that I had never imagined I would tell to anyone. Soon I started having feelings for her, feelings that I didn't want to accept. She insisted that we should try dating but it was just too scary for me because I had never been in a relationship before (not to mention in a same-sex, long distance one) but I eventually realized that I was deeply in love with her and said yes. The thing is that even when she stopped flirting with everybody else -which was something that really hurted me even when we were just friends-, I never stopped being jealous. In fact, I found out in this whole experience how incredibly insecure I am and how low my self steem really is. I know I'm not an ugly-looking girl and everybody tells me that I'm pretty but I just can't see it. My girlfriend is tired that I compare myself to her exes all the time because I'm very self conciuos of my "sex skills" (she orgasms every time and tells me I'm perfect, but I know her exes had multiple sex partners while I lost my virginity to her and that she used to have sex many many times a day, even when she tells me that with me is different because we make love). I know she loves me more than she loved anyone, I really do, and even when she doesn't give me any reasons to not trust her, I'm always concerned she will miss being with a guy or leave me for someone prettier or more secure than me. We've been together for a year now and I really need help because this only hurts us both and all I want is for us to be happy
Hi and welcome to EC! First of all, you almost always will have someone to talk you like family, friends, EC, etc. Insecurity in relationships is normal and natural to a certian exent. After all, anomals in the wild would need a level of insecurity to create and matain relationships with their sex partners. Do you currently live with/nearby your partner or are you still long distance? But since you say that your insecurity is harming your relationship, something you should do is whenever you feel self-contitoius about something, write it down in a notebook and keep track of what it is that is bothering you, and get help if you need it. You don't need to feel like you are alone because in reality, you never are.
Maybe talk to her about them, and if she's not supportive you have your answer. When you are in a relationship, the other half should have no problem PROPERLY letting you know they care about you and find you attractive, it shouldn't be like pulling teeth. How often does she let you know she cares? That she loves you?
