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Need Advice (Time Sensitive)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Tayb24, Mar 7, 2015.

  1. Tayb24

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Washington (state)
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Okay, so this girl I've been on a few dates with had to cancel the last date she scheduled with me because she got too busy. This is fine, and some odd days later I sent a text to her wishing her luck on something, and later that night she replied, and she thanked me and said that she missed me. She then said we should have a date this weekend (this was Tuesday), and I agreed, then I asked her when she wanted to have it, suggesting Saturday, but she never replied.

    Friday morning (yesterday) I sent her a text saying something like, "hey, so when exactly did you want to go out on that date?" Because if we were going to go out, I wanted to know when precisely (day/time/place). However, she never responded to that text either.

    I don't know what to think. She seemed to really enjoy herself on the last date we went on, and she said she missed me and rescheduled the date she had to cancel. She even suggested if be a study/movie date in order to avoid canceling again. But then I just get radio silence and it is now the morning of the day we most likely would have gone out. She is an incredibly busy person, which I respect, but I feel like she shouldn't have suggested we go out again and then leave me hanging when I ask when. I've thought that maybe something was wrong with her phone, but she would probably reach out to me through Facebook if that were the case. I also feel like if she were going to cancel on me again that leaving me in the dark until the day of isn't very cool.

    If she wasn't interested in me fine; I could live with that and move on, but she is interested in me and said she missed me and was the one who tried to schedule this date in the first place. I'm just so confused by her silence, it doesn't seem to add up. I feel like if I reach out to her on Facebook now though that I'd be pestering her, and that if she is going to get back to me I should just give her the time to do so.

    I really like this girl, but I don't know how to handle this situation, thoughts?
     
  2. AlmostBlue

    AlmostBlue Guest

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    I think it's best to just give her some time and space at the moment. It is pretty shitty for her not to respond to your two texts, but maybe she has a legitimate reason. The other few dates didn't require this much effort to plan right? Then I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. For now, go on with your weekend as you would by yourself. Plan things and don't wait around for her response. I'm sure she will reach out to you if she wants to and when she can. You can then judge if she had legitimate reasons or is being flaky.
     
  3. Tayb24

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Okay, so I have been waiting for her to reach out to me, but it still hasn't happened thus far.

    Would it be better for me to continue to wait or should I send her a fb message or something that says something like "Hey, how have you been", and then see if she responds to that? It is possible that there was a glitch in communication and a text didn't go through, but I'm not sure how likely that is. She is also a grad student and does a bunch of other stuff, and it is almost spring break so school is pretty crazy for everyone atm too.

    This girl was my first kiss, which was the last time I saw her. I'd just feel so awful if she faded away before I even got to see her again. I just feel like I need to know what is going on between us and if she still wants to see me.


    Am I right to feel confused by her non responsiveness, especially after she said she missed me and suggested a date?

    Nothing has ever worked out for me, romantically, so I wouldn't be surprised if this didn't either. It would just be nice for things to work out just once. There is a big part of me that just feels like I don't deserve anyone, because I'm trans. I feel like anyone who would date me could just go date some cis person instead, and be a lot happier.
     
  4. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

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    Yes, you are right to feel confused. She's not fully communicating with you. There can be many reasons for it. You should talk to her about that in person when you do get to see her. You definitely need to talk with her though. I would do it now, and make it short and sweet. "Hey, what's up? Anything wrong? Starting to worry..."

    I do think it's rude not to respond to someone, even if it's just to say, "hey, sorry I missed you, I've been super busy." Not even a minute to respond.

    Have you thought of just going and seeing her, or surprise her with lunch/dinner/snacks while she is studying or busy? I'd find a way to just be around each other, even if it's just you each work on your own studying/work.

    Heck, I told my boyfriend I wouldn't mind if he just came over and studied. Anytime I get to spend with him is precious. I don't care if I just sit there and watch him read.

    DO NOT feel like you don't deserve anyone. Every human soul deserves to find that connection, companionship, love. Since you identify as lesbian, why would any cis-woman want to date you? You are in the market for a lesbian or bi-sexual woman or maybe even another mtf?

    When you find someone that loves you, don't doubt how they feel, they picked you...
     
    #4 kindy14, Mar 11, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2015