Hi everyone! I usually don't post but I have been VERY confused recently and need help/advice from people who will understand. Where do I start? I have a crush on this guy in my college class and I get a vibe that he may be interested too. I first had class with this guy a year ago and have been in a class with him ever since every quarter of college (coincidence??) I first only noticed him as an attractive guy and paid little attention to him since he is very masculine, reserved, and just is not stereotypically gay. Then every next quarter he would have the same class i did. This is when I started seeing him as more than just an attractive guy. I also started noticing him staring at me, not long, but more often than normal. He would casually turn his head pretending to stretch and look in my direction. People say he is straight but I get a vibe he might at least be bi-curious. I am very shy and apparently from people who know him, he is also quiet and shy. He is in ROTC, likes sports, and is always with his friend who plays rugby and is actually straight so it makes me doubt that he is gay. However in our most recent class together, he started sitting next to me in class (which he never did). He still has his rubgy player friend around so I never catch him alone to start a conversation (i am shy) plus I don't want to 'out' him in front of his friend for in case he is in the closet. Also he has been doing more staring this time around, I've caught him quickly turning around when he is looking at me :rolle: He has been more careful though. But when I see him outside of class (walking to other class) he always gives me a warm smile that makes me so nervous because he is so cute :icon_wink (even when he is with his best friend). When we walk to class, he usually takes the short way from his dorm. But when he sees me walking in front of him, he takes the longer route (the one I take) which i think he does it so i can notice him. He also "accidentally" bumps into me once in a while and says sorry while touching my arm. Throughout college i have not seen him date any girl (or anyone) so i feel he might be closeted. All these little subtle signs give me a vibe that he is interested in me but we both might be too shy for our own good :icon_redf I usually have really good "gaydar" even with masculine guys who turn out to be gay. Everytime we make eye contact my gaydar goes off but I am unsure if to listen. I feel like I might just be projecting my interest onto him and am reading too much into things. What do you guys think from the information I've given? Does this sound like he may be interested or am i imagining it?? I appreciate any advice and sorry for the long rant ! Haha
I don't see why striking up a conversation could lead to possibly outing him. You've shared classes with him for a while now, so the method of breaking the ice is right there. Find something to ask him during the next class. Did we have an assignment due this week? Have you gotten your score back yet? From there you can continue to discuss the class, the professor, the brutal or easy assignments, etc. Regardless of his sexuality, he clearly isn't disgusted or annoyed with you. There is never any danger in making striking up a conversation with those around you. Sometimes it can be nerve racking, but if you don't give things the opportunity to blossom then nothing ever will. There is nothing to lose.
Hi, Sergio! :welcome: From what I read, I think he might be really interested in you. I say start a conversation, you've got absolutely nothing to lose. Just the opposite - you might get a new friend, and who knows... maybe something more eventually. Next time you see him, say at least "Hi". Maybe he's shy, too, and that's why he doesn't start the conversation. A simple "Hi" wouldn't do any harm, right?
I currently have similar problem with you. I've tried to strike a conversation with a guy in my class (who's a jock, have a high chance of being straight, but give mixed signals toward me) but I'm too shy to do that. I'm socially awkward when I attempted to talk with other people who are not from the same country as me. But seeing as you have been in the same class with him for a year and so, and there are many opportunity for you to talk, go for it! Hope it all goes well
You can never be sure if someone's interested, for you to know for sure, you'll have to ask. By the description you gave there may be a possibility for him to be interested in you, though. As gen said, i don't see how striking up a convo can possibly out him? Just go over and talk to him, try to find out what his interests are, maybe you have something in common? If so, you can build your convo on that and start talking to him more.
Gen you're right, i guess I'm just a nervous wreck. I am actually pretty outgoing and can strike up conversations like this with any girl. Sad part is I get hit on by many girls who think i am flirting and see me as really confident. When it comes to guys I freeze :eusa_doh: ---------- Post added 8th Mar 2015 at 12:49 PM ---------- I know he is super shy which makes it hard for both. I am pretty masculine and many people are surprised to find out i like guys. So i'm thinking he is on the same situation trying to find out if I am or not. ---------- Post added 8th Mar 2015 at 12:50 PM ---------- Thanks Hat ! I'm feeling confident this time and i'll let you know how things go. Hopefully you get the courage to do the same..:icon_wink
Ask him out! Next time you see him just ask if you could have a private word and then ask him point blank if he'd like to go on a date with you. If you don't give this a shot, you will kick yourself later. And even if he says no, at least you will know that you have the confidence to do it again some other time.
Maybe you should bump into him?? He sounds like he is interested in you.. if not for romantic reasons, at least for friends? Ask him some questions etc I know if can be hard but just relax and keep cool! Good luck.
Hi! In my opinion, you'll be able to find whether he's into you or not only if you talk to him. Let's say the worst thing that could happen to you is that he's actually straight and you were only reading into it too much. So, in the end, you don't really have too much to lose. Maybe you can start with some small talk about the class and stuff like that, and then when you guys are more confident with each other, say something like, "I can't believe that we were taking so many courses together and never talked to each other." I think the best thing you can do is to take things friendly until you're really sure there's something that could be taken as "more than a friendship." I really hope it ends up well for you. Cheers!
