Hello, my I am a freshman in highschool and need some help with this guy I have a HUGE crush on. And in advance this is going to be quite long but I will appreciate it if you can help. Well first he and I are friends as far as I know. We talk in fourth period frequently and he is so funny, I mean he is always trying to make me laugh. He and I are also on the same drum line together and talk some there as well. On problems are.... I have no clue if he is into guys. I'm bisexual and only a few people know and he isn't one of them. I've tried to tell him a few times but every time the topic of homosexuality or bisexuality come up he is all like "ok enough of that" or "ok, did you here about....." He will never let me finish my topic or anything! And it drives me insane! He has dated one girl in the past. I believe it was back in eighth grade. But they broke up for reasons unknown to me and he will refuse to talk about that. Now something that keeps me from moving on is that I know he is a popular guy and puts on a kinda act to fit in. Plus he is a shy and reserved to begin with. And when we are at drum line practice, his three main friends are there and he also does the same kinda thing cause when we are alone he acts so different. He has flirted sort of with guys(including me). He asked me once if his sweater was soft and he said go ahead and feel it for a second if I want. He and his other friends will hug or sit on each others laps once in a while(they are homophobic though). I think its kinda a friend being friendly kinda thing. But if I do it he's all like" wow wait". Once I showed him a funny pic and he got defensive cause it was a pic of a stick figure dancing with another one. It showed something else but if you saw the two people dancing it said you should reevaluate your sexual orientation(I was just messing with him.) He got real defensive! I just don't know how to find out what I should do,when to do it, or why. So please read this and help me, just have no clue what I should do and I can't wait forever.
I would not wait forever. In high school some come out, and a lot of people wait until after. While you will be shocked to find out who among you is really actually gay/bi, at fourteen I'm sure that number is small. Your peers are still trying to figure themselves out. I know its hard, but even if he was into guys from what you've told me I don't see him coming out of the closet very soon. I think that you should move on. :/
He sounds like he's maybe questioning what his own orientation is. Just be friends right now. Everyone develops at their own pace, and rushing things can be damaging. You might invite him over to hangout, maybe have a sleepover, where you can talk about things more deeply. Only talk about your own feelings and experience though. And don't question his orientation, only explain where you are. If he get's grossed out or defensive, let it drop. Just tell him, you see him as a good friend, and needed to be open about how you feel. And it's okay to say, I really like you and think I've got a crush on you, but that you don't know what to do about it. You want to be friends, you think he's _____, and go from there.
