I'm a 23 year old woman in a relationship with another woman. She was a really close friend of mine who, last year, told me that she loved me and she was attracted to me. We spent so much time together up until that point that I knew I loved her and I thought I could perhaps be sexually attracted her to or I could at the very least make her feel comfortable until we both figured things out. She is my best friend and I was the first person she EVER told she had feelings towards girls and I didn't want her to be ashamed of who she was by saying NO! She'd pinned up those feelings for me inside for a while.. I just couldn't. So I thought I'd try it and break up in a month or two months or six months and now it's been almost a year. I'm so comfortable in my relationship. We live together; we're pretty sexually active but it's only from her end. I've never been sexually attracted to a woman in a way that would take it to more than kissing or receiving oral sex (definitely not giving). In all this time, other than (it might get graphic) rubbing her clitoris and fingering (and this isn't every time), I've never performed in sexual acts on her. She's done EVERYTHING to me. Also, when I look into my distant future I don't see me and another woman. I see a man and I see kids. I know the future isn't going to be what you imagine, but shouldn't I at least see her in there somewhere? I definitely don't think I'm gay and I don't think I'm bisexual, but I do love her. I love her more than you'd love your best friend. It's romantic, but not sexual. I don't even know what I'm asking. Should I be in this relationship? Have any of you ever been that lesbian girl? She was so worried about my straightness and my love for guys and I always told her that it wasn't a problem and I loved her despite gender or anything else, but now I'm thinking that I may not have been as honest. How should I approach this? I did not re read this. Please excuse any typos.
I feel I can relate from another direction; I've always anticipated winding up in a heterosexual relationship, having kids, and finally buckling and admitting that I'm gay. I know deep down that I'm gay, but my head tells me that I should be with a woman and start a family. I *think* it's possible that I could force myself to be intimate with a woman, but I've never found out if that's the case or not. Only you can answer whether you really have sexual feelings toward men, or if you are actually homosexual.
