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How do you know if your partner is right for you?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Nightstep, Mar 9, 2015.

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  1. Nightstep

    Nightstep
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    In a sense a simple question, but never a simple answer...
    I haven't been seeing my girlfriend for long- a few months... but something about this relationship just feels right. Although, this is my first relationship in years, and first same-sex relationship.
    Of course, there is still *plenty* of time to figure out if I want to spend the rest of my life with her... not going to rush that at all...
    But, is it right to have doubts? I really haven't had much of anything near a proper relationship before, so a lot of this is new territory for me on all accounts.
    She's perfect to me in every way I could imagine or want in a significant other, yet I still have a few doubts. 'Is she right for me?' That kind of thought.
    We've both seem to fallen quiet hard for each other...
    Could anyone with more relationship experience ease my worries? I would greatly appreciate it.
     
    #1 Nightstep, Mar 9, 2015
  2. sweetfemme90

    sweetfemme90
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    Well my only words of wisdom is to enjoy the here and now. The future will unveil itself and with time you will decide to marry or whatever plans you had, or simply part ways. In my experience it's easy to think whoever you are with at the time is the 'one'. It's good to be choosey about your partners and spend time getting to know them. One major question I always had is what makes a person (any person) the 'one'? What makes a good life partner? I don't know your age and where you are at in this point of your life, a lot goes into being life partners.
     
    #2 sweetfemme90, Mar 10, 2015
  3. Nightstep

    Nightstep
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    I certainly appreciate the response. I have been on a lot of dates, but nothing felt right until I met her. So, yes, she is my first girlfriend, but not the first girl I've 'dated' I guess, in a sense. I didn't want to commit to anything that didn't feel right or that I knew wouldn't lead me down a path I wanted for myself. I think we are both very happy and satisfied where we are in our relationship at the moment. We are both in our mid-twenties at the moment... both trying to finish school as well as her having a full time job. Kind of chaotic trying to find time to spend together, but we make it work. Especially since we both have that driving force/will to want this to work.
     
    #3 Nightstep, Mar 10, 2015
  4. resu

    resu
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    The perfect is the enemy of the good. Just be happy with what you have and always work together so that you both are trying to be better partners. You can be happy alone or in a relationship. But, you can also be unhappy in both instances. The difference is that when you have a partner, there is someone who can help or hurt you, so stick the helper. If you're feeling comfortable, then you're doing something right.
     
    #4 resu, Mar 10, 2015
  5. bibiscuit

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    i wish i knew the answer to this.

    of course its ok to have doubts...i think that is natural.

    i think someone who is right for you is someone you feel a deep connection to. it doesn't have to be great with them all the time, but you should want to keep returning to that person and trusting that they are the one that can help you be the best you can be. hope that doesn't sound too corny ;-)
     
    #5 bibiscuit, Mar 12, 2015
  6. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    Well, I have been with my partner for 11 years now, but I had exactly the same feelings as you at the beginning, and I'm almost certain he would say the same about me. We both had previous relationships that had failed and there is no doubt that we had to work at a few issues to get to where we are today. If a relationship is to succeed I think it is important to be prepared to put the effort in and to understand that it might not be plain sailing all the way.

    I'd say it's quite normal to have doubts and wonder how things will turn out, but you just have to go with it and give love the room it needs to grow. If you pay too much attention to doubt and remain guarded with your feelings it can have a stifling effect on the relationship and I'm sure you don't want that.

    Take time to get to know each other and trust each other and you will discover the answers to many of the questions you are asking. There is some risk, but there is also the potential for huge reward and that's what you should focus on.
     
    #6 PatrickUK, Mar 12, 2015
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