I wrote a previous post about meeting a girl online. We havent met up in person yet but are suppose to friday! I am really excited but also terrified. As i am not out to no one and have been keeping this part of myself secret from everyone. I am the person that always tries to make everyone happy, to my friends and family. Everyone comes to me for advice and just to let out there problems. I do not have the same pleasures as them. All my life i have push my true self down and crafted myself into the person they want to see. I am completely exhausted and unhappy. The other night we were suppose to finally meet up. All day i was waiting for her to say what time and where but it never came. I told myself that she must not want to meet up, but deep down i knew i could have texted first. Later that night i said some excuse for not meeting up and she was understanding which made me feel worse. She is someone I can see myself liking and having a potiental to actually be happy with. Something changed today, during my break from classes i took a walk on the beach and really thought about my life. Why does everyone else get to be happy and i cant. I always put others first and try to make them happy but why not do that for myself. So I took my phone and texted her and we talked a little bit. I took the intiative and asked her out. We plan to go for drinks friday. I am so nervous and really excited! Im not sure if i can call this a date or just a simple meet up to introduce each other in person. II mean i have been on a couple of dates with guys but i really didnt care how it ended. I just went to please my family and give them this perception of me being straight. How do i overcome this extreme nervousness and not wanting to back out. This will be my first step in truly being who i am and i dont want my fear of stepping out of the closet to hold me back of being happy.
Hey radicalfondue, The first time is always exciting! Just be sure to meet up somewhere public, and take the necessary safety steps, so you can enjoy yourself without any risks Don't think of it as a date. You are meeting a close friend to chat and have some fun and drinks, just casual stuff. And don't worry about looking nervous, that happens and you will probably be the one who is paying attention to your nervosism, so relax. Tell us how it goes!
Good for you for moving forward on this. Sometimes we have to talk ourselves into things to get them done. Maybe don't think of it as a date. Think of it as a get together to find out something you really need to ask her. Doesn't matter what it is. About school. Her thoughts on air travel, economics, whatever. But this is a get together to find out the answer. So go, chat, have fun and find out what she thinks about the latest celebrity scandal.
Thank you guys! and i will def let yall know how it goes! I getting really excited and she wants to meet at this local concert so it should be fun!