Hey y'all, so I'm still not out. I mean people in college know I'm queer, but aside from that my family is in the dark. I'm a freshman living in uni, and I don't come home from college. I mean last term I went home once in early September, then just stayed on campus till Christmas. I spent more than half my Christmas break away from my family for no apparent reason, and even now if I come home it's never for more than a few hours. College is about an hour from home. I don't want to come out. Last year I asked my mum what she thought of same sex marriage and she said something along the lines of 'well, is marriage really something any two people just have an automatic right to'. Another time she got an invite to an event organised by the parents of a kid in my brother's school. They are a same sex male couple, and when she opened the invite, she made some really distasteful joke about the whole thing. When I was younger, I didn't get the whole 'if you're gay then it's ok talk'. My Dad actually told my older brother and I that if we did think we were gay it's probably only a phase and best be quiet about the whole thing until you know better. That being said, a fairly close friend of my Dad's recently came out, and the world didn't end. I think the penny is beginning to drop with my Mum, who recently discovered that the son of one of her co-workers (age 26) is gay and not out to his parents. She said something along the lines of 'if that happened to me I'd feel like a failure of a mother'. That doesn't stop her from using 'fag' as a swear word or making generalisations about people. This whole situation kinda sucks. I really don't like being around my family, and would rather just ignore them. I mean, I'm not the one with the problem. If they want to be bigoted then let them be. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. At the same time, I do miss them. My dad and I used to go to the movies a lot. It was kinda our thing. We don't do that any more. It's really sad.
