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He broke up with me and now comes to me for advice.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Rikudou, Mar 17, 2015.

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  1. Rikudou

    Rikudou
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    I went to another town to see this guy I have been chatting with for a while, a mutual friend introduced us. We realy clicked and everythng was going perfect. When we met, during the process of us two kissing and hugging, he stated that he was not sure if he wanted to be with me. Needless to say he was certain of it by the next day. We agreed to remain friends, even though I still have feelings for him. Yesterday he messaged me telling me he crushed on someone from his surroundings. I do not even know how, but the conversation turned into a scenario in which I gave him advice on how to hit it off with this new guy. I am yet to find out if the person in question is actually gay and if anything between them might work out. He did seem quite happy, so I guess that is good. I just feel like crying right now, because I was hoping to have a second try with this guy. Advice on how I can proceed without actually cutting all ties with this person?
     
    #1 Rikudou, Mar 17, 2015
  2. Rolando4

    Rolando4
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    Um, no he didn't break up with you because you two were never together..
     
    #2 Rolando4, Mar 18, 2015
  3. Awesome_trans_girl13

    Awesome_trans_girl13 Guest

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    Maybe just try asking him how he felt about you, and if he wants to be friends still just without being akward
     
    #3 Awesome_trans_girl13, Mar 18, 2015
  4. Cesar123

    Cesar123
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    Proceed how exactly? My recommendation on how you should move forward is to realize that he does not want you, and begin the process of moving on. It's nothing against you, the guy clearly had his heart set on someone else and did actually a very respectful thing to do and that's admit he made a mistake going on this date ( which most likely was pressured by his friends / they didn't know about the other guy ) and cut off any ties leading to a romantic relationship. The reason why you felt obligated to give him advice is that it's what a friend would do to another friend who is having guy trouble. Even though you still have affection feelings from him ( which is infatuation by the way ) you do not want to lose him so you did what a friend would do ( therefore keeping him along a while longer ). Honestly, I feel its a bad idea to go after him again as it would most likely ruin the relationship you to have now and possibly harm this person that you care. Again, my recommendation would be to move forward from this and find someone else. It may be hard at first, but when you are dating someone who is genuinely interested in YOU, this guy won't even cross your mind. Till then, I wish you the best of luck :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Cesar123, Mar 18, 2015
  5. Rikudou

    Rikudou
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    Coming back to this thread I realize how emotional I was when writing what I did, as such I may have used somewhat poor wording in conveying the specifics of the situation. Thank you all for the advices given. I have had time to think about what I was trying to do and see now that it is indeed not the right way to go. I no longer view him as anything more than a friend, it just took me some time to get here.

    So my question would be, if it is actually possible to be friends with a person who you had feelings for? Would that be too weird or should I drop the idea completely?
     
    #5 Rikudou, Mar 22, 2015
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