Hey guys Well, last night I noticed my ex and my current boyfriend had became friends on Facebook. To be totally honest - I was full of rage. What irritated me was the friend request from my ex came through, my bf accepted it and said nothing to me - despite being with me the whole day when it probably came through. I questioned him about this last night, and to be honest he seemed to not understand why it would irritate. I hoped I would waken up this morning and find he'd deleted my ex, but this hasn't happened. As a result, I've sent him a text explaining why I'm annoyed, with the bottom line of "if you can't agree with me, or at least see where I'm coming from, we're better going our separate ways now" Maybe I'm deluding myself here - or maybe I'm being totally honest: Can any of you see why this is a problem? Or am I overreacting? My bf tried to justify it by saying "we were friends on here a while ago" (meaning my ex). But even still - why does he want a random gay guy, who he's never met, on his Fb when hes in a relationship? :tears: Was really starting to like him too
I would be bothered if my boyfriend added my ex as well. Personally, I have zero interest in my bfs past relationships.
So there are 3point of views here that I will bridge the gap that is causing this rage in you, and you will have decide how you can proceed. I don't have much information so you need to fill some of the holes for me. Lets start with your boyfriend. He did not friend request your Ex boyfriend & he did not tell you. This mean he is genuinely not interested in the guy. If he was interested he would of requested it, and kept it hidden from you. In his eyes your ex boyfriend 1) doesn't measure up to him, 2) is in the past 3) irrelevant in your current relationship. The reason your boyfriend can't see why this is irritating you is because he sees no reason why it should irritate you ( the reasons listed above. ). Your boyfriend doesn't view him as a threat because you chose him over your ex. He recognizes that you have had past relationships and assumes that while you two move forward together that there aren't feeling for any of your past relationship(s). Combining these two factors put him in the conclusion that your Ex is irrelevant to your current relationship and a friendship between your boyfriend and your ex will remain at that - a friendship. However, your ex I have more questions about and possibly puzzled about. The lack of information makes it difficult to see what he is thinking. If the two were friends in the past than it could be a sign he got over you ( probably unfriend him when you two started dating ) or it could mean he is trying to get to you through your ex. Or it could mean he is seeing how he compares to your boyfriend. Or it could mean jealously that you moved forward. There are seriously countless factors to consider why he would friend request your boyfriend. Don't be threatened though. Like i mentioned above, simply the acceptance of the friend request from your boyfriend means that he truly feels your relationship is strong enough that there is no way your ex can bring it down. Then there your point of view. I understand where you are coming from on this. I can be a pretty scary thing seeing your Ex and your current boyfriend possibly having a friendship. One of them was your past love and obviously hurt you in such a way that I didn't work out. The reason why you are making such a big deal about this very minor incident is because you do not want the same turmoil from that relationship to come into your current or it could merely be jealously! You likewise make quick and irrational decision when you are either angry or upset. Please recognize this before you make an impulsive move or say something you might regret. I understand that your ex is not someone you are fond of, and I do not know how it ended, but you have to put him in the past and move forward. I can not dictate where you should move forward from here and this is not my place to do so. I do believe that your boyfriend does care about you and you care about him also. Likewise, I do believe this relationship should not end because of anyone else and something as minor as this. All I can recommend for you to do is reevaluate your priorities in this relationship, reevaluate your feelings for your current boyfriend AND your ex, don't making hasty decision, and filter what you say and/or type. Best Wishes
I came in contact online with my ex-roommates ex-boyfriend. When the ex told me the relationship, I was interested at the time what triggered ex-roommates anxiety the most. All the ex-boyfriend could talk about was the wild parties they would have and go to. Even went to dinner with him once, mostly to see what he had heard, and correcting him on that. Ex-roommate thought it was an invasion of his privacy to be talking "behind his back," with is ex. So I can understand your feelings. However, your boyfriend is a guy and probably dense or inexperienced when it comes to thinking about how things impact others. I'm certainly guilty of that, having (according to my stbx-wife,) failed to notify her ahead of time that I was dropping her from Facebook. (Well, I thought dropping her was notifying her.) Sure, I had perfectly valid reasons for doing it, and she understood after I told her, but she wanted communication before hand. I'm just the kind of person who can make a decision off some random thought, and just go do it.
