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Defining a Healthy Relationship Compared with a Codependent Relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by OnTheHighway, Mar 18, 2015.

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  1. OnTheHighway

    OnTheHighway
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    My partner and I love spending time together every chance we get. When we are not working or traveling (which I have mentioned we both do quite a bit in prior posts), our idle time is often spent together, whether going out or simply staying at home. Both of our desires to socialize with others, while we do get together with friends on occasion, are limited. Part of it is due to how much time we spend apart, which makes our time together that much more important.

    When we are not together, I often feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. He expresses that his time away from me is equally difficult. It does not interfere with our work or family life in any way that I can think of, so it would not seem that there really should be in any issues.

    However, I am curious, when is the line crossed between a healthy relationship and codependence? Is the sadness I feel when we are apart anything to be concerned about? What about his difficulties he expresses in similar manner?

    i know this is one of those "good" problems to have, but figured I would check and see if anyone has thoughts. Thanks.
     
    #1 OnTheHighway, Mar 18, 2015
  2. Cesar123

    Cesar123
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    You mean codependence in a way that one partner is dependent on another right? I don't have much insight on a dependency for drugs & alcohol.
    I think the difference between a healthy relationship and a codependent relationship lies in communication. A healthy relationship both partners feel comfortable being themselves and being able to communicate with one another openly. In a codependent relationship, there isn't much of basis for communication. One partner kinda acts like the brain and the other kinda glues on follows whatever the other partner is thinking or doing. The codependent person doesn't / refuses to contribute their own ideas to really anything. They would typically say something along the lines of "what do you think" or let you make all the decisions for them.
    For example, let say you to decide to go out to dinner or lunch. In a healthy relationship you to would probably pick what you want, but in a codependent relationship the dependent would probably pick what you ordered or in a unhealthy codependent relationship you would pick for them.

    Codependent people really can not grasp the idea of being one's self without someone. So being alone would be a horrific experience for them because they would not be able to do anything. People who suffer from this condition I believe need medical attention as soon as possible.

    P.S I don't think your relationship is a codependent one. You to just love each other and miss being around each other! If its not interfering with work and family that its far from a codependent relationship and actually a very healthy and thriving relationship.
     
    #2 Cesar123, Mar 18, 2015
  3. OnTheHighway

    OnTheHighway
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    Well, he definitely does not pick the food I eat and Vice Versa! :slight_smile:
     
    #3 OnTheHighway, Mar 18, 2015
  4. GrumpyOldLady

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    Highway, from your posts I get the sense that you have a healthy, loving relationship with your boyfriend. Missing someone when they're gone is perfectly normal if you like being with them.

    To me, being codependent means being unable to let go of someone, even though it hurts you to stay. For instance, staying with someone who belittles you constantly, or abuses you physically, or cheats on you all the time, or tries to prevent you from having friends, or is a drug addict and puts their drugs before everything else ... things like that.
     
    #4 GrumpyOldLady, Mar 18, 2015
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