So I've been out to my friend A for almost a year now. I've got pretty comfortable talking to her about girls and I alway give her advice on guys. You could say she's the friend I am most open to about my sexuality. I always thought she was ok with it (admittedly a little uncomfortable but what straight person isn't). Recently , I've noticed a guy B who has taken interest in me (I sound like I'm forty but bear with me). We've known each other for a while and I thought that we'd established a firm FRIENDSHIP but I know that B likes me. So, I brou that up with A. I told her that I think I would be open to trying out a straight guy if B were to ever ask me out; you know, experiment and then see what happens (my gold-star status is hella). A got so excited and she keeps telling me I need to text him and oh how I should be so excited about this and how he's being such a sweetheart and blah blah blah. She's never met the guy and she already thinks we are soulmates, all because HES A MALE. I feel so betrayed. She's never gotten this excited about any girls I tell her about, and it feels like all this time I've been out to her she's just been waiting for me to flip the switch an tell her I was kidding all along. I always thought of A as the person who I could talk to about gay shit, and now I'm just alone again.
I know a lot of straight girls that act like this. I actually gave one of my old straight friends the cold shoulder and silenced her whenever she talked about guys or boyfriends. She started to get upset until she realized that's how I felt around her the whole time. Then it opened up our relationship and she got used to the idea of my sexuality.
Reminds me of this one friend I had who always told me, "You know, you might change your mind and start liking guys one day. You can't be sure." Then I told her about some guy who had a crush on me, and she started trying to get us to hang out with each other, saying I needed to at least give him a chance. Slightly different situation, but you get what I mean. You should tell your friend that she's bothering you, and clearly explain why.
She sounds a lot like one of my sister's, who was initially not supportive of me when I first came out. Sadly, it took a while for her to come around to the idea of me liking women, but I guess some people can change. However, even with her change of heart, I hardly discuss my dating life with her when it comes to women, but if I were to mention to her about a guy that I like then she's all ears. I am not sure why my sister reacts the way that she does other than the fact that it makes her feel uncomfortable. I mean, it's not like I talk about my sex life when it comes to women because I know she cannot relate. But if I were to discuss my sex life when it comes to being with a man then she's all ears again. I have not spoken to my sister about how I feel because I do not think that it will make a difference, but perhaps you should tell your friend how you feel. Someone who cares about you should be happy for you, no matter who you're dating just as long as you are happy. But I guess everyone doesn't feel nor think like me, which is okay, but it does sting a bit, especially, when I cannot talk to her about this amazing girl that I am dating, in fear that I will make her feel uncomfortable. Last, but not least, I find it to be crazy how I am often considerate of other peoples' feelings when they could care less about how they make me feel.
Sorry for those feelings of betrayal, but you have to remember A may not have many other lesbian/bi friends to know that sexuality is not a choice. Yes, you can have sex with any gender person, but that doesn't mean there has to be sexual attraction (actually, there is a lot of research suggesting female sexuality is much less rigid than for males).
I'm not sure if I really agree that female sexuality is less rigid exactly....I know many many many straight men who sleep with men or show attraction to men. Hell, my super straight masculine DAD has kissed a guy before. And most gay men have sex with women and do enjoy it. I just think that because of the society we live in, men are less likely to admit their feelings since they're not as likely to get away with it as straight women are (same for many lesbians). But I think true straight/gay men are rare; most men have bisexual tendencies, and the same goes for women. Although there are plenty of women are also rigid (case in point- me. I'm less repulsed by scat fetishes then I am by any sexual activity with a man).
