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2 years after coming out and family still doesnt understand

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ICTOAUN, Mar 20, 2015.

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  1. ICTOAUN

    ICTOAUN
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    I came out to my family my freshman year of college.

    i send an email to my sister

    and i told my mom and brother in person separately

    its been over two years since that happened.

    they all took the news better than i expected

    my sister called me crying saying how much she loved me

    my mom said "you're still a child o God and you're my daughter so I love you"

    my brother was mostly silent, haha, but the next day he drunkenly told me he... "didn't care that I'm gay, just doesn't want me to identify with those people" (whatever that means)

    So i actually feel really lucky that they accepted me, didnt cut me off in any way, and still love me and all.

    but today they still say things under their breath... low enough that i cant really confront them but loud enough so they r heard

    i cut my hair short a year ago (it looks so fly, and i love it) but they ALWAYS comment on it in a negative way. Or the way I dress.. (which I also love). My siblings kind of make fun of me in subtle ways. Or my mom comments on how I "should" dress.

    these are little things but they really get to me because they r my family and I want them to accept me for who I am, no matter how I express myself.

    any advice?
     
    #1 ICTOAUN, Mar 20, 2015
  2. resu

    resu
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    Location:
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    Some people
    Tell them if they have a problem with what you're doing, they should say it out loud and not in whispers. Ask them if they have any questions. It could also be you're just being a little anxious and assuming the worst.

    Since your mom is religious, maybe she has a lot of pressure to make you fit to some gender standards. Also, lead by example. Tell them that you don't criticize their style (if you do, you should stop), so they should do the same to you.
     
    #2 resu, Mar 20, 2015
  3. nycwomanintech

    nycwomanintech
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    They may have not cut you off, but they didn't totally accept you. What you need to do now is let them know that you told them about your sexuality because you didn't want to live a double life. This includes the fact that you will dress in a way that is comfortable to you and that they don't have to like it. You can also ask them to stop it with the under the breath comments because it is rude. Don't take that from anyone. From here on out you're going to have to be proactive in standing up for yourself and who you are. Whoever doesn't like it can kiss where the ☀ doesn't shine, family or not. BE YOU! BE HAPPY! LIVE YOUR LIFE! You'll be fine.
     
    #3 nycwomanintech, Mar 20, 2015
  4. ICTOAUN

    ICTOAUN
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    Thank you guys :slight_smile:
     
    #4 ICTOAUN, Mar 20, 2015
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