Hi everyone, After over 5 years of questioning myself, I finally came out to my mom who has been suspicious for a while. I was hoping her reaction would be happy but she is actually sad. She told me she doesn't want to tell anyone because she is embarrassed to have a gay son. It really crushed me when she said that but I respect her because this is new to her and being gay isn't something she's used to. I was hoping I could get some advice on how to stay positive through this because what is supposed to be a happy stress free time because I came out is exactly the opposite. Thank You, Max M.
Hi maxmurphy, Realize that you have to give her a little time. It may have come as a shock to her. She's grieving what she sees as a loss, and it's going to take a little while before she gets over that, but there's hope. It sounds like she's more sad than angry or aggressive, so with time, I think you two can get past this. Now for yourself: Be proud you told her! Keeping it from her your whole life wasn't an option. You've done something good and brave and you should be glad. You're honest with her now. My mother was also very sad and hurt when I told her, almost exactly a month ago. We found it hard to talk for a few days. Now, we still don't talk about my sexuality or the girl I like, but things are on the mend and I'm happy she knows. At least I'll never have to come out to her again.
I would just give it some time. My mom was pretty upset for a few days. She knew logically that nothing was wrong, but she still felt that kind of loss. I'm sure your mother will get used to the idea.
Hi Max, I'm really sorry to read about your mom's reaction, but you are right to try to understand. Even if she has had suspicions, it's still a lot for her to take in. Sadness is a normal reaction from parents, but it usually passes. You might find this information useful: Empty Closets - Parent and Family Stages of Grief and this: http://straightparentgaykid.blogspot.co.uk/ Also: PFLAG National
