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The monster father in law

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by dano218, Mar 23, 2015.

  1. dano218

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    OK. I have issues with my sister we have been on bad terms for years because she won't accept me as gay and the rumor is it's all because of her homophobic racist father in law. I had a discussion with my mom and she said we should sit down my my sister and her husband sometime and discuss their feelings and the problems that exist within the family. My whole family accepts sexuality but her and it has created a lot of awkward tension. I think a honest discussion is needed here so all that baggage can come out. The thing with my sister she'll express her anger in the most uncivil way and than put a wall up like my perspective doesn't matter. They really need some therapy cause obviously they don't have a healthy relationship with the father in law because my brother in law is so scared of family expectations and his father's disappointment and my sister is also scared of it. When you really look at it is a unhealthy family dynamic brought on by a controlling patriach who demands everyone either agree with him or face ridicule. My mom today told me story that one time at a restaurant he was really rude and racist to a server who was foriegn and some of my family members were there and were beyond horrified an walked out. You don't do that shit in a big city full of diversity. It's all a sticky situation.

    The rumor is she and her husband are scared of his reaction if he found out I was gay and that would have a negative impact on their family. It is just speculation but for many in my family it seems obvious the father in law is a racist homophobic control freak who has no respect for the opinion of others and will raise hell if you disagree with him. This is a rich conservative Italian catholic family. I understand it might be scary for them if he finds out about it but she is choosing his respect over me in a way. How would anyone deal with this situation?
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    Your sisters father in law! Why waste any time even concerning yourself with it. I am sure you love your sister. But she made the decision to marry into her husbands family. U did not make any decisons. Your just being you. Your right, she need therapy, be supportive of her for her ailment, it sounds like a big one; but one completely and totally out of your control.
     
  3. Runner5

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    All you can do is sit down with them and have the talk you want to have. After that, there is nothing else you can do.
     
  4. Clay

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    I don't really get why your sister would chose him over you, seems bizarre.
     
  5. dano218

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    Thanks. I just want to get to bottom of it if possible. She and her husband are supposedly scared of confrontation or hostility and that fear is what affects our relationship.

    ---------- Post added 23rd Mar 2015 at 05:34 PM ----------

    I think that might be the best thing to do even if it doesn't help at all. Things need to be brought out in the open instead of continuous awkward tension every visit. I think they are scared of losing a large inheritance or something like that so they are more worried about money and respect from this homophobic dick than me. This guy is apparently a very unpleasant rich man sadly with a lot of money and power over them. They are pussy whipped.

    ---------- Post added 23rd Mar 2015 at 05:35 PM ----------

    That is why is good to finally have a discussion about it and get all those issues out in the open.