Should I go see a therapist? Feeling overwhelmed

This post is probably going to be a bit disjointed but I'll try and keep it on track...

Not really sure where to start but I am a 25 yr old guy from Sydney. I live with my parents in a rural area until 2 yrs ago when I moved to the city with my sister. Our home life before we moved out wasn't great. My parents fought with each other day in day out for as long as I can remember. From about the age of 12 my father was a verbally abusive monster who screamed at me, my mum and my siblings every day - blaming us for all his problems and failures. I didn't realise until I moved out of home that I actually suffered from quite a severe level of anxiety. Since I moved away my anxiety issues have subsided considerably, but I still do feel the claws creeping over me from time to time. I have learnt techniques to deal with these episodes and can usually talk myself out of having an anxiety attack...

I used to be introverted, shy and very quiet in social situations but ever since I got a job and started hitting the gym I have grown into a much more confident and outgoing person and made lifelong friends. Over the course of the past 2 years I feel like I have become the 'linchpin' in my friendship circle. This is great in many ways but it also brings with it certain problems... I would describe myself as a fiercely loyal person. I would go to the end of the earth for the people I love and not ask anything in return. I guess this has culminated in me becoming the 'go to guy' whenever any of my friends need advice or are feeling down or worried about something. Many have confided in me things they have never told anyone else and I never judge them or hold anything against them. I do my best to reassure them and make them feel better if something is worrying them. Because of this I think they all believe that I am a really level headed and 'mentally grounded' person who doesn't seem to have any problems or need any emotional support. In reality I do get really stressed out and feel down about things and also have a bit of an anger problem... No one ever asks me how I am doing or if I am doing ok... this makes me sad and disappoints me, I'm always there for everyone else and go above and beyond to help my friends and family out and sometimes I feel like they take advantage of me a bit. I don't expect anything in return because I enjoy doing things to make their lives better but sometimes I would like a sign that they acknowledge/appreciate me...

On top of all this the other issue I have is that I have fallen in love with my closest guy friend. (Please see my previous threads for background info). We have such an intense friendship, we spend so much time together it almost feels like we're in a relationship. We are so similar and have the same interests and hobbies, love the same music, go to the gym together and always at each others places when we aren't working or have other commitments. It feels our minds are synchronized, we finish each others sentences and laugh at the exact same time... I've never felt this way about a guy before and while I have come to the conclusion that I am bisexual I honestly don't think I could feel this way about another guy. I don't look at other guys with any kind of interest or attraction. My mate just unlocked something in me that is reserved just for him. I don't want to be in love with him. I don't want to be infatuated with him. I hate how my heart aches when he leaves and I miss him when he is gone. I don't want to feel like this. I just want to be friends and not have to deal with mind fuck of a situation but I can't get over him. It's like the more time we spend together the deeper and deeper my understanding of him gets and the harder I fall for him... I'm sure he has some kind of idea about the way I feel, and I like to believe that he has some kind of feelings for me but I know that we will never admit this to each other.

Sorry for this epically long post, I just needed to get all this off my chest... Has anyone on here been to see a therapist? Did they help you to clear your head and reduce the stress you were under? Any advice or stories would be much appreciated... I feel pretty isolated with all this stuff....

 

Thanks for the kind words, you are right - although I feel like my head is screwed on ok they're are a lot of things that I have been bottling up inside that make me very angry sometimes... I guess admitting something anonymously on sites like this is a lot easier than actually telling a real person... I'll keep you updated with any progress

---------- Post added 26th Mar 2015 at 03:22 AM ----------

Thank you for saying that, I never really thought about it before but I guess it is an accomplishment in a way. I feel very lucky and relieved that I escaped that psychopaths grasps and turned out somewhat normal (aside from the things I listed above). I'll try to put myself first a bit more instead of bending over backwards for everyone and see what effect that has on the situation...

---------- Post added 26th Mar 2015 at 03:25 AM ----------

Was the 'therapist' you saw a psychologist? I'm not sure how it works in the US but in australia we need to go to a gp and get a referral to see a psychologist. The only thing I am worried about is it going on my medical record that I have been to see a psychologist. There are several career prospects I would like to pursuer where having that on my record could hurt my chances...