Everything stresses him out, and he can't easily process his feelings. He even dumped me once because it got extreme. since my disposition is generally positive I feel like I need to be the stronger one emotionally, but I'm also sensitive hah after recently getting back together I'm finding it difficult to trust him with my unconditional love like before, so I'm a little reserved romantically in comparison. I also feel like I can't share any pain I feel with him because he can't deal with his own. In short, we're both temperamental so I'm scared of hurting him but after being broken up with I'm scared to give him all of my positive energy and love that I used to It's like in any situation at all I'm afraid either I'll break him or he'll break me. "Tell him how you feel" is obvious and doesn't help me Has anyone been in a similar situation?
I have not been in this situation but honestly this is the sign of a very unhealthy situation, If you guys cannot emotionally be on the same page as each other and express your feelings to each other it is not worth being in a relationship. A healthy relationship takes communication and understanding and this seems like this is not gonna end well. I think it would be best to end it. He needs to work on himself before he enters a relationship and take of his own problems because it is not fair to you or to him.
I agree with Dano. I have been in relationships where you aren't actually able to "tell him how you feel" because you are afraid of the repercussions. Support needs to go both ways and when you need to hold in your feelings, and stress, and problems because you know your bf isn't in a position to help you, it leads to a lot of resentment and even more stress. Any healthy relationship needs open communication, trust, and honesty without fear that the other will judge or leave you. By being so reserved and having to hold in your true thoughts and feelings, it isn't really fair to you to be in this situation. N'or is it to him not having access to the truth (even if that's because of him). Its always possible the love will come back the way it was initially, but in my opinion, what's more likely is that the relationship, you, and him, have not changed enough and the same thing will repeat all over again.
I agree with Dano and Robclem and it really doesn't help to protect someone from reality. It might seem like the best approach, but honestly, it's not. We do not help people to become stronger or more resilient human beings by insulating them from the world and all of its troubles. I don't know if your boyfriend is receiving any help or support, but it sounds like he needs it right now (and you need him to receive it too).
I believe in every relationship there typically is an emotional leader. Inherently, I do not see anything wrong if you take the emotional lead in the relationship. He, however, needs to reciprocate in his own way and be open minded to your positive energy and emotional support. My partner and I have such a dynamic, where he is the emotional pillar and I am the objective pillar. Do we butt heads sometimes, of course, but we communicate and are very open with each other - although most of the time I have no clue what I am feeling, where he is able to extract it out of me (to my absolutely amazement). In return, I listen to him and his feelings and give him the attention he needs. We have been together for a year, and our dynamic did not come about overnight. A relationship takes a lot of work. We often joke with one another about how our failed prior relationships actually provided the foundation and experience to make our current relationship work. And without those prior relationships, we probably would not have been ready for each other today.
