GF says she will break up with me if i transition?

That sounds rather odd...

Maybe she's just surprised?

 

I really think you need to do what makes you the happiest, and if that means transitioning, so be it. I understand she means a lot to you, but It's going to be worse on you if you have to live a lie to please her. Sit her down and talk to her about how important this is to you.

 

You need to focus on you and what its better for you. Maybe your girlfriend needs some time to accept this change, maybe she no longer feels bisexual and feels more inclined to being lesbian now.

Focus on you.

 

I know you love her, but you need to do what is best for you. That is being who you were born to be, and if she isn't okay with that she does not need to be in your life. I know that it will be hard to lose her, but is hating the body you are in any longer going to be beneficial? and in all reality, do you think a relationship where one person is not fully supportive of the other and does not care about the others happiness will last forever?

Do what will make you happy, NOT HER!

 

Recently? That sounds like a lot of news for you to accept, and for her to process.

I'm a little surprised by your girlfriend's reaction because you say she's bisexual and open-minded. Still, it would be her choice. I'm aware some bisexual people do not date trans people because of various reasons. It doesn't help that transition can be a stressful time for both parties.

Is she worried that you're going to be a different person on T? Maybe it would help to explain that you're still going to be yourself. There are some myths about T and anger.

If you must choose between living authentically or staying in an intimate relationship with her... I would strongly recommend breaking up. Good luck.

 

Do whatever makes you happy. Give her some time to accept it, but don't hold back from doing what makes you happy. Best of luck

 

I don't know where to start with this post exactly but I will say one thing. It is not easy being transgender, and it is not easy dating a transgender person.

I am a cis-woman (lesbian) and I have had mostly relationships with transgender men. I never purposely searched for transgender men, I had one partner who came out after a few months into a relationship, another partner who I wasn't with very long because they moved but they questioned their gender after I explained what transgender meant, and a brief fling happened between me and another trans guy however we went separate ways.

When a person is transitioning, especially taking hormones they are rapidly changing. Most trans people I knew before they began to transition changed a lot from the time we had first met to now. There are some positives and negatives changes that I think are just typical for a person going through any transition. These are individualized mind you, not all people experience the same thing, I just notice changes in people when people change. One ex became very macho and made fun of feminine things which hurt me a lot. On the positive side though he became happier and confident as his appearance changed and he took a lot of pride in his appearance!

When a partner is experiencing gender dysphoria, it can affect your sex life. For me it did. My partner would be very self-conscious about their appearance and would not want to have sex. When they felt crappy about their own body I often wondered what they thought about mine since biologically speaking we were similar. I began to feel bad about myself.

All of this created disharmony in my relationship. I didn't know what they needed from me, and they didn't know how I felt. Talking about it was difficult for some more than others. It caused a lot of tension in the relationship on top of other relationship problems unrelated to the transition, but all relationships have problems to work through- it just became too much to handle at once. One thing happened after another.

I wonder now how relationships can work for people when one is transitioning and the other is not. I do know that it does take commitment and communication. However commitment is not forever and communication can be taken poorly by another. I am unaware of the experiences of others, so I hope other members can jump in and share their experiences to add to 'how to do relationships with trans people' list.

Transitioning is something you are doing for yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one. Please understand that transgender-cis relationships aren't for everyone, even if the person is bisexual. Transitioning is a full commitment on your part, it requires a lot of time/energy/resources from you. As much as we hate to say goodbyes it might be the best thing for you. Your current partner has a lot to process and think about. The first time around I just jumped two feet in. It was great while it lasted but the ending was terrible unfortunately.

Whatever happens, I support the both of you. If your partner does choose to stick it out for the time being she can always go on EC and she can have me as a support since I have gone though this and can relate. There aren't very many resources for partners of trans folks so we feel alone sometimes.

I don't want to leave this message with the message that relationships are bad between a transitioning person and a cis-person. My message is we haven't got it all figured out how to do relationships yet. Also when a person goes through any life transition, there are bound to be changes, some will even be unexpected. Transitioning for you is a very serious thing and you are taking action and I would feel sad if you ever held yourself back to make someone happy. This time right now is your time. In the future I look forward to the emergence of transgender people and I will always love and support yas.

 

My hubby is a cis straight guy. I had to broach the topic really slowly so he had time to process and get used to the idea. He initially freaked out a bit, but after I let him process for a while, and explained what it was, and what I wanted, and how I'd be happier by getting top surgery to look more like how I feel, he did come around.

But not everyone is like that. In any situation, no matter how much it may hurt, long term, it will hurt more if you don't do what makes you happy. You have to decide what is worth the pain for you. Relationships are hard. I'm sorry you're going through this.