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Comments from family and friends

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by LifeAsWeKnowIt, Mar 28, 2015.

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  1. LifeAsWeKnowIt

    LifeAsWeKnowIt
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    Hi guys, it's been a while since I posted here, but I don't really know who else to ask so.... hey again haha! Basically, I'm hella queer, but only out to around 5 people? The rest of my friends definitely know, but I haven't explicitly come out to them yet. I feel like my family probably also know, despite the fact I haven't told them either. Anyway, I'm pretty much a walking stereotype... I was wondering if you guys had any advice for when people make comments. Like today, I showed my mum a picture of a pair of boots I was thinking about getting (ironically enough probably the only pair of 'womens' shoes I'd consider getting) and her response was 'those are dyke boots, what are you a dyke?'... I said no... My brother says things like this too like 'wow you're dressed in the lesbian uniform' (whatever the hell that might be...). But I know they're not homophobic? They both support gay rights and have gay friends and are serious allies.. but they don't realise that I actually hate when they say things like that.. and I don't feel comfortable enough responding in a way that I should. So I guess that's what I'm asking you guys? But maybe I'm just ranting for the sake of it.. Anyway, thanks :bang:
     
    #1 LifeAsWeKnowIt, Mar 28, 2015
  2. Gen

    Gen
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    Sometimes certain comments that are rooted in prejudice, such as microaggressions, are said without the speaker consciously recognizing the hate and intolerance that they are encouraging.

    Rather than debating with them about whether certain things are stereotypical of lesbians or denying your orientation, I would recommend questioning their thought processes. When they make these comments ask them, "Do you see anything wrong with lesbians?" "If you see nothing wrong with them, then why would me dressing in ways that are stereotypical of them be an issue?"; "Shouldn't women be free to wear whatever close they wish regardless of stereotypes"; etc. Questioning their logic will force them to reevaluate the comments that they make. Hopefully then, they will choose to stop making them in the future.
     
    #2 Gen, Mar 28, 2015
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